So you were unable to watch Peter Pan Live! but still want to talk about it as if you did. Well, worry not, you goddamn phony, because I've got you covered. Here are five important and highly mockable Peter Pan moments for you to bring up at your next social gathering.
First of all, I've only highlighted five moments because Peter Pan Live!, first and foremost, was terribly boring. Not only is it a dull play to begin with, but this one was starring Allison fucking Williams. And, worse yet, not a single fly wire broke during the show. Point being, I really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find five moments that seemed mildly worth the precious time that you and I typically dedicate to Clickhole quizzes. But find them, I did.
5. Neverland looked exactly like the volcano set from Showgirls.
4. "Ugg a Wugg," the most racist song from the Peter Pan musical, was updated to be less racist, but still managed to feel pretty dang racist.
3. Wendy Darling was SO fucking thirsty.
But still somehow managed to have zero chemistry with Peter.
2. Christopher Walken, styled as an '80s hair band member-turned-Celebrity Rehab cast mate, did not try to dance in sync, sing the right lyrics, or even speak intelligible English.
He did work up the energy to spank Allison Williams in the most low energy fight scene you will ever see.
1. Actually, skip everything else. This clip tells you everything you need to know.
If you want to know more about Peter Pan Live!, feel free to comb through last night's live thread!