Dim the lights! Cue the orchestra! Pour yourself the biggest glass (or fish tank) of wine possible because it's time for our Peter Pan Live! live thread!
All you have to do to play along is tune into NBC right this minute (if you're on east coast or central time) and watch along with us. Of course, it will be even better if you jump in the comments and help us make cracks about Allison William's wig and accent.
Throughout the night, I'll be updating in the post and joining you fine folks in the Kinja discussion below. Consider me the Peter Pan to your wily group of Lost Boys or, more realistically, the Captain Hook to your crocodile.
8:00pm 'ELLO! We open on foggy London town where Wendy is reading a sto'ry!
8:05pm George Darling is a haughty dick.
8:06pm Kate Dries: "So far the dog is the best actor."
8:07pm Mrs. Darling thinks that a dog is an adequate babysitter for her 3 young children, so she's not exactly parent of the year either.
8:08pm Kate: "Ugh, what color is Wendy's hair? It's certainly not marsala."
8:09pm "Fall asleep," demands Mrs. Darling. DOESN'T SHE KNOW MY WORK IS MAKING ME WATCH THIS.
8:11pm ENTER ALLISON WILLIAMS. Oh, my god, you guys: the movement, the wig, the eyebrows. I'm already dying.
8:16pm Look, yo, Allison Williams CAN sing.
8:18pm OK, THAT CROW NOISE MADE IT ALL WORTH IT.
8:20pm WENDY, you are thirsty, girl.
Standing directly next to the camera.
P.S. Kate made me a patty melt and I am eating it now.
8:27pm Thank you, US Weekly:
8:32pm This flying scene sure is...effortless.
Can they dust Allison William's charisma with a little of that fairy dust?
8:41pm ENTER WALKEN. You guys, he's not even acting. This is just Walken poppin' off.
8:42pm Fun fact! One of Hook's pirates is actually Glenn Close in drag!
8:47pm More of bearded Andie MacDowell tap dancing please!
8:48pm So the Lost Boys are just, like, gayer Newsies?
8:58pm Someone has your back, Allison:
9:02pm Any chance of bringing Wendy's acting to life, too?
9:04pm Kate excitedly remarks, "OHHHHH, IT'S A HOUSE" upon the tree house reveal. Kate is a dork.
9:06pm OF COURSE Wendy leaves London to become a fucking maid to these man children. #YesAllWomen
9:10pm Neverland looks a lot like the volcano set from Showgirls.
9:15pm So the pirates are just, like, gayer Lost Boys?
9:17pm NBC is thirstier than Wendy.
9:19pm I see Neverland Wendy leaves her top dress buttons unbuttoned...
9:25pm Tiger Lily is throwing off some FKA twigs vibes, huh?
9:27pm RACIST Wendy Darling doesn't do diplomacy with neighboring tribes.
9:33pm Oh, this boat scene is where Wendy and Peter fuck, right?
9:36pm "I would definitely have sex in this lagoon." - Kate Dries, Jezebel Associate Editor
9:38pm Tyler Coates:
9:40pm It's sad to watch Christopher Walken have such a public stroke.
9:41pm Captain Hook just spanked Peter Pan!
Is this the first time they've ever attempted this with fly wires? Because no one looks comfortable.
9:44pm How am I so drunk and not nearly drunk enough?
9:50pm Nice of them to replace Peter Pan's most racist song with opening number from West Side Story. Still a 8/10 on the racism scale, though.
9:54pm There was so much more chemistry between the cartoon Peter and Wendy.
10:00pm Oh, god. We have a full hour left.
10:08pm WENDY, he is not into you. Chilllllllll.
10:11pm Way to telegraph your own kidnapping, Michael.
10:17pm NO ONE CLAP. LET THE FAIRY DIE IN PEACE.
10:22pm Captain Hook mentions Jack the Ripper, a stark reminder that in a parallel universe, a serial killer is terrorizing the streets of London and cutting out the uteruses of prostitutes.
10:29pm Mia Farrow weighs in on her favorite topic: Mia Farrow.
Kate and I are eating chocolate with pop rocks in it and it is FUCKED UP.
10:35pm Imagine how disappointed you'd feel if you were waiting for rescue and it came in the form of Allison Williams' Peter Pan?
10:36pm Battle scene needs more blood shed.
10:38 Peter Pan is #ageism.
10:40pm "I gotta crow"? More like I gotta goooooooo lol.
10:46 Hey Mrs. Darling, this is what happens when your children's primary caregiver is a dog.
10:50pm And the last minute reveal of Minnie Driver! She is acting the hell out of this.
10:53pm Congrats, Peter! You got another maid in the form of Wendy's daughter. #YesAllWomen
10:55pm AND THATS WRAP. Me (and Tink), right now: