Yes, Travis Barker Sucked Kourtney Kardashian's Finger, Because They Are in LOVE

Illustration for article titled Yes, Travis Barker Sucked Kourtney Kardashian's Finger, Because They Are in LOVE
Image: ShotbyNYP / BACKGRID

Pardon me for my lateness to this news item, which has electrified me with something akin to both horror and respect: Kourtney Kardshian let Travis Barker suck her finger in public?!

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Miss Kardashian and Mr. Blink-182 attended a UFC match on Saturday evening, as part of a double date (?) with Megan Fox and her not-quite-hot-but-just-very-tall man, Machine Gun Kelly. There’s something deliciously 90s about these two pairings, even though I think the Kardashian-Barker arrangement are the only two people who were alive and around in the 90s. Maybe it’s just that clothing now skews 90s, and also, Travis Barker, but I digress. These people were at a UFC match, and while they were at this match, Travis Barker sucked Kourtney’s finger like he was trying to get at the center of a Tootsie Pop.

OK! I have studied this footage as one might the Zapruder film, and can confirm that Travis Barker is the kind of nasty freak who sucks a finger in public. I can also confirm that it looks like Kourtney Kardashian loved it. Furthermore, I would like to note that from the finger-sucking incident, which is disgusting but also erotic, Travis Barker is becoming more and more attractive to me, mostly because the finger-sucking has made me believe that he knows how and where to sling that thing. Kourtney... after what I imagine were years of ineffectual, mediocre lovemaking at the hands of Scottie, you deserve the good dick that happens to be attached to Travis Barker. [Page Six]


Sharon Stone’s recently-published memoir is full of sordid and spicy little details, but the one that I am about to share is neither sordid or spicy, just fucked up.

In 2001, Stone underwent reconstructive surgery after removing two benign tumors from her breasts. The doctor in question gave Stone the kind of boobs he thought she should have, which were larger than the ones she had requested. Sir, respectfully, how dare you?

From People:

“When I was unbandaged, I discovered that I had a full cup-size bigger breasts, ones that he said ‘go better with your hip size’ “ Stone said. “He had changed my body without my knowledge or consent.”

And when Stone questioned her surgeon on her breast size, she said he told her that he “thought that I would look better with bigger, ‘better’ boobs.”

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Frankly, it was not his place to say, but hats off to that asshole who felt cavalier enough to make a game-time decision regarding someone else’s body when they were under anesthesia and their care was entrusted to you! [People]


Just checking in on Barbra Streisand...

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She’s good!


  • My favorite famous couple, Kirsten Dunst and Landry from Friday Night Lights (yes, I know his name, and it is Jesse Plemons), are having a second baby!! [Us Weekly]
  • Rami Malik got salty because Rachel Bilson posted a picture of the from high school on her Instagram. [Page Six]
  • No, Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid are maybe not probably married!! [Just Jared]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

itsnotaboutthepasta
itsnotaboutthepasta

Can you even sue for medical malpractice for something like slightly bigger breasts? One cup size is minimal enough that a (male) judge would likely just roll his eyes and say there’s no negative effect or significant enough damages, but this is very clearly not morally okay. Reporting the doctor to the AMA would probably have the same (lack of) consequences.

Meanwhile, can my friend who is married, childfree in her 30s, and suffers from awful PMS find a doctor to give her a hysterectomy? Of course not.