Teresa Giudice Can't Believe Her Bad Decisions Have Legal Consequences

In case you missed it because you had something better to do (like putting your hand in a wood chipper or douching your vagina with rubbing alcohol), RHNJ‘s Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe (a caveman who she met after unthawing him from a block of ice that she found buried in her backyard) went on Watch What Happens Live late last week to FINALLY break their silence on their plentiful legal woes.

What we learned:

• Teresa is a mother.
• Teresa is strong.
• Teresa is a mother trying to be strong so that she can be a strong mother.
• If charged, Teresa and Joe could serve 50 years in prison.
• No, Joe says. It’s more like they could serve 100 years in prison.
• No, Teresa corrects. It’s definitely 50.
• There’s no way Teresa’s brother and sister-in-law (marital rape’s #1 fans Joe and Melissa Gorga) are getting custody of the Giudices’ five daughters if/when the Giudices go to jail for 50 to 100 to 50 years.
• Teresa doesn’t know why this is happening to her.
• Teresa wants respect.