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Tell Us About the Worst Halloween Walk of Shame You've Ever Seen

Illustration for article titled Tell Us About the Worst Halloween Walk of Shame Youve Ever Seen

Halloween’s awesome, but the morning after can be embarrassing as shit. On Friday night everyone was drunk and wearing costumes, but on Saturday morning everything was back to normal and sad princesses rode the train home, wondering why they’d agreed to hook up with a dude who lived three transfers away. Did that happen to you or a loved one?

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Illustration for article titled Tell Us About the Worst Halloween Walk of Shame Youve Ever Seen

We know that you, our classy and dignified readers, have a story to tell that’s worse than any tale that the princess to your left can ever dare weave — BTW, if you are the princess at left, please let us know what happened! — and we’d love to hear it. And for those concerned about rules, please note that in this context, walks of shame can include embarrassing moments that may not have been explicitly sexual. You should also tell us about your own walks of shame, not just those of friends and colleagues. Come on, confession is good for the soul!

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I will go first with my own experience of walking in shame: On Halloween, I handed out candy dressed as a giant guinea pig. It was adorable and I scared several children (one tiny robot burst into tears at the sight of me) while also enraging my partner because I was not rationing candy well and also giving out the glow sticks I was supposed to be wearing as “welcome” markers like they cost less than a dollar.

After, we decided to go to dinner. Unfortunately, I went in costume, forgetting that the only thing I had underneath was underwear. At some point during dinner, I got hot, stood up and proceeded to disrobe, not realizing that I was showing off the goods to an entire restaurant full of people, none of whom were in costume. We left shortly thereafter and I proceeded to descend into a shame spiral.

Here is a pictorial representation of what it looked like (but also this photo was taken at school, where I was the only instructor who dressed in full costume in my department):

Illustration for article titled Tell Us About the Worst Halloween Walk of Shame Youve Ever Seen
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Later that night (after we decided to go to Reno for some reason), we watched an angry woman dressed as Alice in Wonderland being walked out of the Peppermill in handcuffs while calling the cops “motherfucking cock suckers in blue” and crying.

What have you got?

Lead image via Film District; Princess Image via Reddit

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DISCUSSION

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limbslimbs

Oh god

I was 17, and lived in a rural farming community with my grandmother. I had had a blistering crush on this guy from the bus for several years; we were at the same party and I went back to his house with him. Couldn't go inside because his parents/my grandma/everybody's favorite aunt was in there, so ended up in the shed (not as bad as it sounds) where I proceeded to get the top half of my dress caught on a saw, then slept in the shed rather than walk a mile home in the freezing dark alone. A couple of hours later I wake up, my gown top is no longer a part of my life and I don't have any idea where my shoes are. No big deal; I just have to get home and we live on a back road. I steal a welding jacket (stiff leather yesssssss weighs about twenty pounds) and start walking. I get about forty feet before I realize that there is no way I can walk that road barefoot for a mile, not in this weather, but I can walk in the irrigation ditch beside the road because it's empty and sandy. I am almost to where the ditch comes out at my road when I realize the ditch is full ahead of me. Because I am tiny and have only ever been in the ditch when it's full, I didn't realize that I couldn't get out of the ditch by myself without engaging in some gymnastics that would require the removal of the jacket, and I am topless underneath. I can see my house from where I am. I throw the jacket out of the ditch and scramble up after it, step on a fucking garter snake and fall into the water part of the ditch. I am fucking freezing and speed-plow the last twenty feet to the ladder on our bridge, and am halfway out of the ditch (topless, soaking wet, barefoot) when up to the stop sign across from me pulls my grandmother's pastor. I glanced at him and walked in front of his car, across my yard, into the house.

Never heard a word about it.