Ted Cruz With Food

When you aren’t giving a stump speech, the campaign trail is a chance to prove you’re a nice, fun-loving American who likes things that nice, fun-loving Americans like. Repellant also-ran Ted Cruz’s target demographic involves impressing people who love to pray, shoot, and, importantly, eat.

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And how he has eaten.

Here he is across the country with food as rich as his patriotism and an appetite as big as his dick (just kidding).

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Good luck achieving orgasm ever again.

Images via AP and Getty.

Politics