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True to her word, Taylor Swift has been quiet over the past couple of months, presumably licking her wounds(?) post-Tom Hiddleston breakup or just hanging out with her cat or whatever. Just in time for summer—the best season for Instagram PDAs—she’s back, baby. And, surprise, surprise—she’s got a new man.

It’s Joe Alwyn. Who? You know, Joe Alwyn, that dude who was in some movies you may have seen and, as per The Sun, still lives with his mom and dad. They’ve apparently been dating for months and it also seems she’s been learning from her past. Instead of trotting about town with this nice boy on her arm while also running from the paps, she’s been keeping a low profile.

Swift has been reportedly going to great lengths to conceal her romance, spending “days at a time” in London while wearing a variety of wigs in order to disguise her appearance. She’s also rented a house in London to see her new man and has been conducting her arrivals to the country with a “military-like” precision, employing private jets and a security detail to make sure that no one sees her. Seeing as this is the first time any of us have heard of this, I guess she’s doing a great job.

So! Is this love? Is this...something? According to the Sun’s source, “Taylor and Joe are the real deal, this is a very serious relationship.” Okay then!

[The Sun]

Wonder no longer what Scott Disick is up to because now we know. He’s getting dinner with Bella Thorne, a person whose relevance I still do not understand.

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The two apparently went to one restaurant, then another, then one final one, then a club, before retreating somewhere in the relative safety of Lord Disick’s car at the very scandalous hour of 1:30 A.M. Entertainment Tonight thinks that this means Scott is finally moving on from Kourtney, but I’m fairly confident that we’ll be hearing about their whole thing for the rest of our days on this planet. Mark my words.

Anyway, yeah. Scott Disick. Bella Thorne. What a world.

[Entertainment Tonight]

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