Expecting to click through this Vogue interview with Jennifer Aniston and read a transcript of an Aveeno commercial, I was pleasantly surprised. This is somebody who says shit!

Aomar Ait Khedache, the veteran thief who allegedly orchestrated the Kim Kardashian heist, has told French police that he gathered a significant amount of information from her social media accounts.

Victoria Beckham, occasional Spice Girl and current fashion designer, wrote an open letter to her 18-year-old self for the February issue of British Vogue. After discovering this, I smiled and clicked on a link to the story with the hope of reading something that would give me a laugh.

Victoria Beckham, née Posh Spice, is the latest designer to temporarily join forces with Target for a capsule collection. Coming April, it’ll run all the way to 3X, it’s priced to move, and will also include items for babies and children. Extremely chic and stylish babies and children.

Jennifer Garner was recently out and about in Los Angeles, enjoying a post-workout coffee when, naturally, a swarm of paparazzi descended upon her. But rather than flipping the bird and proceeding with her day, she told the buzzards that she and Brad Pitt are now dating.

In what may or may not become an annual tradition, Sarah Jessica Parker crawled out of hibernation to remind us that she is not a feminist—but the real disappointment here is that she didn’t even have the courtesy to dust off her old Sanderson Sisters drag and opine in song while flying around on an old mop.

Whether the Spice Girls would reunite for their 20th anniversary seemed to hinge primarily on whether Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham) and Sporty Spice (Mel C) would be willing to set aside their jobs (fashion designer, Asia’s Got Talent judge) for the good of the collective and, by extension, us.

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are pausing their international “Hey, we’re dating!” tour to celebrate the Fourth of July at Swift’s Rhode Island beach house. Their aggressive PDA campaign continues apace.

Everyone’s highly sensitive nostalgia nerve fired up when rumors of a Spice Girls reunion tour started circulating.

Things didn’t have to be this way. Since leaving Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham has rebranded herself so effectively that it’s bewildering to imagine that she was ever known as Posh Spice, or doing anything but being a fashion mogul and muse, walking around with severe haircuts and strappy stilettos and compression…

David and Victoria Beckham have begun publicizing the vocal talents of their 11-year-old son Cruz, who may or may not be the future of pop.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Victoria Beckham is relatable, Britney Spears win Throwback Thursday and I wonder if Jenna Fischer only eats one piece of bacon at a time.

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, the mythical couple dreamed up by Giuliana Rancic while she was battling the flu, were photographed making out on a “grassy knoll” in Santa Barbara over the weekend, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at photos of the sighting published by E!

In today’s Tweet Beat, Victoria Beckham is Embarrassing Mum Spice, Tyson Beckford has a terrible breakfast and Margaret Cho is tired of the bullshit.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Miley Cyrus and Stacey Dash make a strangely fitting pair, Victoria Beckham is a cool mom and it’s Nae Nae, Alexa.

Today in dumb as hell: the Daily Mail runs an extensive article on Harper Beckham’s pacifier use, and David Beckham tells them to STFU.