In Jersey Shore, Abridged, Jezebel will be recapping the first season, and maybe the entire series, of Jersey Shore in 3 to 5 sentences followed by viewing comprehension questions and therapeutic prompts. This series is in honor of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation and me, for my decision to watch and appreciate Jersey…
By far the stupidest part of my morning (and that’s saying a lot) is the 90 seconds I spend scrolling through the stories published by Radar Online while I was asleep. Their posting schedule is truly wild—and most mornings I find roughly 10 inflammatory, incendiary, and impossible-to-believe stories in my feed. But…
In 2011, former Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi collected $32,000 for a speaking engagement at Rutgers University. Today, Governor Chris Christie—our favorite unrequited lover of Bruce Springsteen—signed legislation inspired by Polizzi’s fee, which caps the amount New Jersey state schools can pay speakers at…
It has been nine long years since Judd Apatow’s bromantic comedy Knocked Up hit theaters and for some reason, Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen are still talking about it and their “feud” that may or may not have been.
Jionni LaValle, husband of Jersey Shore’s Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, is one of the latest high profile(ish) names to be linked with the Ashley Madison hack. Snooki has yet to comment on the matter, but that doesn’t mean she’s holding back her thoughts on the hack in general. She actually has plenty of things to say—they…
Uh-oh! Looks like the love of your life Robin Thicke is once again off the market! According to Life & Style, he has proposed to his 20-year-old girlfriend April Love Geary and she has accepted his offer of marriage! How terribly heartbreaking for you!
Yesterday, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and longtime beau and baby daddy Jionni LaValle officially tied the knot in an extravagant ceremony.
Early this morning, Chelsea Clinton announced that she and husband Marc Mezvinsky welcomed a baby girl last night! Welcome Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky!
Oh man, I was just sitting here feeling all despairing about how the only thing I could find for a lede was that Snooki had a Great Gatsby-themed bridal/baby shower and I was trying to think of some jokes about, like, a ball pit only instead of balls it's shirts and a champagne fountain shaped like a wet diaper and a…
TMZ is reporting that Bill Clinton took a photo with two sex workers from The Moonlite Bunny Ranch at an elite Unite4Humanity benefit in Los Angeles earlier this week. The photo, tweeted by Madison Graham, features a smiling Clinton in between sex workers Ava Adora and Barbie Girl. TMZ admits that Clinton probably had…
Kanye West is allegedly going out of control planning his big day. The singer/actor/designer/messiah was expected to have a quiet family wedding (lol, no), but recent reports from various insiders suggest that West's ideas are running to much more extravagant places.
In today's Tweet Beat, Snooki and the dudes who make The Walking Dead have common ground, Jordan Peele should head down to the patent office and Nicky Hilton isn't having it with your dog's Twitter account.
In today's Tweet Beat, Snooki has a legitimately fantastic dream, Chet Haze is pissed about the hate he gets from fans of You've Got Mail and celebs congratulate Tom Daley for being who he is.
In today's Tweet Beat, various Dancing with the Stars cast members mourn the ousting of Snooki, Ireland Baldwin says she deleted a picture of her Halloween costume "because it was insulting all the poor little white girls who need a racial cause to be apart [sic] of for attention" and Talib Kweli makes some articulate…
Okay, so, sometimes I write hyperbolic joke headlines, just for fun, in an attempt to make the mundane activities of celebrities even marginally interesting, but not this headline. Not this one. THIS ONE IS 100% BIG NATURALS. Snooki literally wants her little baby Lorenzo to go on a date with little baby North West…
The cast for the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars has been announced, and Bill Nye the Science Guy™ is one of the competitors, along with some other people you liked when you were younger.
If you have just descended to Earth from above, like John Travolta as the eponymous character in 1996's hit movie Michael, the selfie is a picture you take of yourself with a mobile phone in order to produce a self-portrait that looks like your more attractive, possibly Robo-tripping cousin.
Snooki—new mom and noted SNILF—thinks Kate Middleton is really pretty. No, like, really pretty. So pretty, in fact, that Snooki would like to ILF Kate Middleton right in the M-hole. Or something. Point is, she's into it.
Bleh. Seven days out of Cliffside, where Lindsay Lohan served her 90 days of court-ordered rehab, she has allegedly been spotted partying with her friend-and-occasional-hookup Max George and sister Ali in Los Angeles. The party went all night, and a "source" (a pigeon? That disgusting oil heir Brandon "Firecrotch"…
Snooki and JWoww appeared at a fundraiser for the Trevor Project and talked about how committed they are to LGBT rights. So committed, in fact, that Snooki is "praying" that she gives birth to a gay son someday. Because nothing says "super committed to equality" like treating a human baby like a fashion accessory. But…