Why David Fincher's New GAP Ads Are Fucking Terrible.
BREAKDOWN! is a new semi-regular bullshit clickbait copyranter feature where I "break down" why popular new ads that most people like are in fact "Fucking Terrible".
According to Advertising, the 1950s Woman Wanted to Fuck Her Appliances
It was the salad baby-booming post-WWII days of this great country, when men were men and women were wives. Obedient wives. Obedient wives with sparkling dishware, spotless clothing that smelt of the ocean, perfectly organized spice racks, and tightly sealed leftovers. Obedient wives who put on their shiniest pair of…
The Ridiculously Phallic Crunchie Ads of the 1950s
SCENE: Offices of London ad agency Subliminal, Persuader, & Manipulate, 1957.
These Should Be the Best Days of Your Life
It would probably make it easier for you if I could pinpoint when this all started. I wish I could show you the date on a calendar, boldly marked with a red X, or find the place on a map.
Beach Body Horror Story: Life's a Beach and Then You Die
"Homosexual acts are acts of envy." — W.H. Auden
One Hundred Years of the Fridge
Since their invention in 1913, and since this Kelvinator ad first ran in 1955, refrigerators became bigger, better, and went from a luxury to a necessity. It's nearly impossible to imagine life today without having somewhere to store your vegetables and a place to keep your leftovers: in the one hundred years it's…
Why This Transgender Teen's Big Legal Victory Matters
Wayne Maines was in a meeting when he got the call. His daughter, a transgender teenager who had been fighting the state of Maine for years over her right to use the girls' bathroom at school, had finally won.
Barbie's Plastic Surgery and Beyond: The Worst iPhone Apps for Kids
This week, parents–and anyone else with an iota of common sense–expressed outrage over the discovery of the Barbie Plastic Surgery App, whose name was soon changed to Barbara for legal reasons. As for ethical changes? Not so much. The app, rated for kids 9+ (just the age they should be fretting about their thighs) …
I'm a Gigolo and Here's a Secret: It's Not ALL About Sex
"Gigolo" isn't a job title. Many male escorts, including myself, will use the term "gigolo" in reference to our profession. More often than not, such use is the easiest way to clarify that our clients are women -– that we are heterosexual. Technically my profession is "escort," although I think the term…
The Horror of Coming of Age: Films Subverting the Teen Girl Experience
Growing up can be a bit of a bloodbath for everyone, regardless of gender. And when it comes to how the actual gory details of the process are portrayed on film, young female characters don't often get the same freedom to explore the dark side of the process that young men do, unless you happen to be watching a horror…
The More Weight I Lose, The More Fat Jokes I Hear: A Dating Story
When my first and only long-term relationship ended toward the end of 2012, I was warned that I would likely do one or more of the following at my ex: date at him, eat at him, exercise at him or shop at him.
The Concept of a 'Bikini Body' Is Infuriating Bullshit
It's that time of the year again (in the Northern Hemisphere at least). It's the time when everyone begins to realize that the sleet and the snow are going to end and people will actually want to wear swimsuits. In tandem, it seems like every site on the internet (or sign on the street) is telling you the right way to…
My Roger Ebert Story
Famed film critic and all-around brilliant human being Roger Ebert passed away today at the age of 70. Herewith, a personal essay, which originally appeared on Deadspin in March of 2010.
5 Reasons Why Hookup Culture Isn’t Ruining a Generation
Hookup culture is "a girl giving and a guy receiving"? We don't think so.
I Learned About Feminism From American Girl's Felicity
The American Girl company leaves many feeling torn between its promotion of pricey consumerism and the dolls' celebration of history and education. One thing is certain though, the story of Felicity and her horse Penny is one that offers hope to the suburban girl-the horseless girl with a wild heart.
What's Up With All These Unfeminist Nail Polish Names?
Why do nail polishes have names? Not brand names — color names, like Essie's Ballet Slippers? Sure, naming polishes is a fun way to add personality to the products and make them memorable, but unless it includes a word that clearly describes the color, they're ultimately arbitrary and have absolutely no bearing on…
Republicans Too Embarrassed to Mention Delicate Lady-Issues
Dear Gentlemen of the GOP:
I Was Raped in Tahrir Square
This is my story, one like many other women's stories. It is the story of what happened to me — and what happened to you. You and I know how it was: death came near, though it didn't arrive. You and I know that we were violated, that we were raped, in the middle of Tahrir Square, amidst the depraved crowd. Human…
