The Most Ridiculous Thing You've Done to Impress a Crush
Apropos of nothing, I’ve recently acquired a bunch of teen magazines from the late ‘80s, ‘90s and early ‘00s. They’re a…
Your Most Absurd Celebrity Encounter
This week, a tweet from journalist Michael Segalov went viral: “what’s the most surreal encounter you’ve had with…
Your Wildest Spring Break Story
Remember Spring Break? That one week in March, April or May (depending on your school district) when you’d get a full…
The Worst Thing You Did to Your Parents
On Wednesday, our friends at Deadspin blogged about two nine-year-old delinquents who terrorized the Helensvale…
The Shadiest Trick You Pulled to Win
This week has been full of drama, and mostly of the shady news variety: on Tuesday’s episode of the Real Housewives of…
The Best Protest You Ever Attended
Last Friday, Jezebel recognized International Women’s Day and the women who spent the day striking, protesting, …
The Time You Stood Up for Something and Triumphed
On Wednesday, the House Committee on Oversight and Reform heard former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s testimony.…
The Most Complicated Lie You've Told
In life there are two types of people: those who perform life-altering, insane, inhumane scams with pathological ease,…
Your Most Outrageous One Night Stand Story
Now that Valentine’s Day is behind us and the insufferable couples who littered your Instagram feed with sentimental…
The Most Horrible Thing You've Ever Witnessed on Public Transportation
While commuting into work this week on a stalled M train, a man walked into the car I was sitting in and began playing…
Tell Us Your Most Chaotic Super Bowl Sunday Story
Super Bowl Sunday is right around the corner, which is great news if you like Maroon 5, Travis Scott, Big Boi and not…
The Most Over-the-Top Baby Shower You've Ever Been To
You asked, you received: it’s baby shower week at Pissing Contest!
The Time You Ate Something You Definitely Were Not Supposed to Eat
There’s a particularly unremarkable episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel) recalls…
The Least Sexy Sext You've Ever Received
When I woke up this morning, the first full article I read was about Jeff Bezos’s dick. Specifically, its size, as…
Your Most Ridiculous Failed New Year's Resolution
Happy new year! If you’re like most people, you’re greeting this 12-month period feeling an internal pressure to improve…
What Was Your Sloppiest New Year's Eve?
Congratulations on surviving the holidays, especially those of you who successfully navigated the minefield of rude…
Your Holiday Horror Stories
‘Tis the season to reminisce about all your most harrowing Christmases, Hanukkahs, Kwanazas, etc. past!
The Most Insulting Holiday Gift You've Ever Received
For many, the holiday season comes with a few guarantees: you will be surrounded by people you don’t normally elect to…
Your Disastrous Holiday Party Stories
It’s finally December, and if you’re anything like me, that means you’ve checked out for the remainder of the year. Now…
Tell Us About Your Worst Apartment
Right before Thanksgiving, we published a disturbing story about a bed bug breakout and consequential lawsuit at the…