Pissing Contest

Remember anything before Wednesday? I mostly don’t, but I do have one hazy memory: photos of One Direction heartthrob

I’m sick of beginning each Pissing Contest entry with some lachrymose observation on this very bad year, so in the…

This year is messed up, and so too are its holiday celebrations. So instead of focusing on the now, let’s distract…

The holidays are here (Happy Hanukkah, y’all!) which means a lot of adult children are struggling to tell their…

Hear that bell? School’s in session... in the the living room. With remote learning an everyday reality now, I…

Happy holidays! I hope you’re spending them alone... Or with the people in your pod, or the people you live with,…

Maria is out on vacation this week so unfortunately, you will all have to cope with a Pissing Contest by me. In case…

Last Saturday was euphoric. The minute AP called Pennsylvania for Joe Biden, my Brooklyn block erupted, with stranger…

This election week, the staff at Jezebel has been eating like shit. Like, consuming a vegetable has become so rare,…

Happy Halloween! Clearly, this year’s festivities are going to be much, much different than other years, so instead…

Nothing is scarier than doing something embarrassing and making a real ass of yourself, so this Halloween season, I…

Look, Halloween is going to be very different this year. But there’s nothing stopping anyone from dressing up, bingin…

Welcome to October, the most haunted month of them all! This week, Jezebel launched its annual Scary Stories contest,…

Look, it is October now—the spookiest month in an already harrowing year—so, naturally, Pissing Contest needs to be…

When I was in elementary school, I told everyone I was related to Mario (like, the Nintendo character) because our…

Six months stuck inside the house and it’s a miracle I haven’t attempted to “open up the space” by “taking down a…

Earlier this week, a friend of mine tweeted, “everyone’s tattoos—mine included—are terrible.” I flip-flop on the…

Back in 2016, when the world was still bad but we had yet to come to terms with just how horrible things would…