Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

In July 2017, Sarah Huckabee Sanders replaced the perennially flustered Sean Spicer to become the second White House press secretary under Donald Trump. The appointment made her the third woman to occupy that position, some 10 years after Dana Perino served under George W. Bush. Though expected, her promotion was…

Kellyanne Conway is allegedly the Counselor to the President, but it appears her job primarily consists of going on television and saying dumb shit. Take, for instance, her Sunday appearance on ABC’s The Week, in which she decided it was a good idea to admit that handing out hush money is standard practice in the…

Commander of cheese.

Last night on the president’s favorite television program, his third favorite mouthpiece, Kellyanne Conway, presented an argument about the White House Correspondent’s dinner fracas that, for a brief moment, made me fall slack-jawed as my soul tried to leave my body.

It’s been a long time since I’ve even thought about Kellyanne Conway. The once omnipresent White House mouthpiece seems mostly to have slunk back to her rock crevice of late, but for some sporadic appearances on Fox News. But according to yet another BOMBSHELL TELL-ALL about the various havoc underway at Trump HQ,…

The Office of Special Counsel (OSC)—not to be confused with Special Counsel Robert Mueller—has found that Kellyanne Conway violated the Hatch Act twice by “advocating for and against candidates” during the Alabama Senate special election. Whoops! Unfortunately, all the OSC can do is ask her boss, noted rule-follower…

Colbie Holdnerness, an ex-wife of former White House aide Rob Porter, wrote in a Monday Washington Post piece that she was “dismayed” by Kellyanne Conway’s weekend appearance on CNN.

A lot of terrible things happened in 2017. The United States exited the Paris Climate Agreement, relinquishing responsibility for its role in our ongoing armageddon. The president called a hostile dictator “fat” on Twitter and now Hawaii is testing its nuclear sirens. Jared Kushner personally inflamed the…

It’s baffling to look back at the past year in politics, to begin to wade through the number of protections rolled back by the administration, or the number of Friday afternoons interrupted by news existentially threatening our democracy, or the number of times the President has demonstrated severe and unchecked…

Last month, Leigh Corfman came forward with her story of being sexually assaulted by Roy Moore in 1979, when she was just 14 years old. On Monday, she appeared on Today to share more about what happened in an emotional interview.

Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the president went on Fox News on Thursday to discuss Roy Moore’s and his alleged predilection for teen girls and Trump’s silence on the subject. (Even Fox News is wondering why Donald Trump hasn’t said anything about Moore. Conway’s answer was that he was in Asia. Trump is busy in Asia!…

We all have our phobias. A clown lurking in the sewers may not be yours, so how about Kellyanne Conway doing the lurking?

In an interview with Time, Kellyanne Conway discussed the lack of leadership roles in the Republican party—can you believe it?—when she got her start in politics, describing working for the GOP as a woman in the 1990s as like “walking into the men’s locker room at the Elks Club holding a bachelor party.”

Here’s a question: if you had an acquaintance who routinely came over to your house, squatted on your rug, took a lengthy, luxuriating shit on it, then looked you in the eye and insisted “There’s no shit on that rug,” would you keep having them over? Yes? Good Lord. You must be in cable news.

Kellyanne Conway would like you to know that she certainly did not say anything mean about President Lord Emperor Donald Trump, so do her a solid and don’t listen to a word that Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough say.

On Monday morning, newly-engaged Morning Joe anchors Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough claimed that during the 2016 campaign, Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway talked shit about Trump immediately after defending him on television.

On Tuesday night, Anderson Cooper tried to make zombie White House spokesperson Kellyanne Conway grapple with the fact that Donald Trump has always praised James Comey for how he acted against Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election. It would then follow that his purported reasons for firing the FBI director were…

I’m not sure where they’ve been keeping Kellyanne Conway these days, but the unexpected firing of FBI director James Comey was event enough for the White House to rouse her from whatever hidey-hole they’ve been keeping her in and put her up against Anderson Cooper to defend the President.

You might not have thought about Kellyanne Conway, a monster who happens to have blonde hair, because she has been conspicuously missing from cable news for the past several weeks. After all, when a rock is removed from your shoe, you leave it on the ground and continue with your life.