The gossiping hour is upon us, and I’m really struggling to conjure up some interest in this Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk wedding news. Possibly because this is the same Gwyneth Paltrow who made the announcement on the cover of Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazine of vaginal/anal/magical product recommendations from Gwyneth…

Johnny Depp has several problems of many varieties, but he celebrated a victory in court today, where he continued to duke it out with his former entertainment lawyer, Jacob Bloom, in a $30 million lawsuit.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock—and god do I envy that privilege if so—you might be aware that Kanye West, musician and President Trump fan, has been tweeting. A lot. He’s been tweeting a lot, okay?

Good arbiters of Dirt Bags, today I bring you several missives from my Twitter feed, most of them (okay all) having to do with Kanye.

Martha Stewart is auctioning off a signed toboggan! And an amber glass chandelier! All from her fake TV home.

Meek Mill was granted bail on Tuesday following the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s order that the rapper be released from prison.

This week, everyone was mad at Starbucks after two black men were arrested on suspicion of trespassing at a Philadelphia location in what was clearly an action motivated by racism and nothing else.

Tristan Thompson, accused by several media outlets of rampant cheating just days before his girlfriend Khloé Kardashian gave birth to their daughter, True, is reportedly not living in his Cleveland house with his family. Instead, he comes and goes.

There have been many reports over the years of alleged Taylor Swift stalkers and strangers doing illegal shit to get her attention—why, just last week I wrote about a guy from Connecticut who allegedly robbed a bank then tried to throw money over the fence of her Rhode Island estate, according to police.

The first time I came across this story, I read it as “socks,” not “stocks,” and was extremely impressed, but what the cold hard truth boils down to is that Kanye West gifted Kim Kardashian money for Christmas. Temperamental money, but money nonetheless.

Kanye West cut ties with streaming service Tidal, seemingly over $20 million and other financial disputes over what he is owed per his contract. But like all good feuds, the real conflict is personal.

Singer and actress Zendaya said this week she was mistreated by a Vons grocery store clerk who threw her wallet and in some way intimated that the actress might not be able to afford the gift cards she was trying to buy.

Here is a new entry into the “weird things celebrities spend actual money on while the only savings account I have is the jar of change on my desk” category: a masseuse who gives deep-tissue massages to stars like Kanye and Katy Perry—with her teeth.

On New Year’s Eve, in keeping with annual tradition, Kanye West premiered a new song called “FACTS.” Actually, technically, Kim premiered it:

Fall is the season of blue and bluster: a time to reflect on all the things you’ve done, the things you wish you wouldn’t have, the things you’re never going to get to do. Kanye’s doing 808s at the Hollywood Bowl; at home, you’re bringing the heartbreak in hot. And Christine and the Queens, the elegantly subversive…

Hear me out. Just listen to it. That’s right—you’re peaking. The sunrise is coming slowly across the tree line, flickers of electric pink are lifting the deep blue haze from the cloud cover, and someone you love is smiling at you and everything you’ve ever been asked to do is dissolving and everything you want to do…

Glastonbury hasn’t been easy for Yeezy. After the long-running festival announced that he would headline, a online petition calling for his replacement attracted over a 100,000 signatures. Then, last night, he was out-Kanyed by a British comedian who interrupted his performance of “Black Skinhead.” But Kanye soldiered…