What Is Life Even?
Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has been real busy since leaving the Trump administration in total…
Ivanka Trump Could Have Been The Bachelorette But Instead She Is First Daughter
Would you watch Ivanka Trump go on a series of weird dates with young douchebags? Maybe not now, but what about in,…
Be Inspired by How Unembarrassed Pentatonix Is
Pentatonix is a collection of fresh-faced, earnest, and extremely bland a cappella singers who have somehow made an…
A Man Coughed Up Melania's Christmas Tree
A man coughed up a blood clot in the exact shape of the passageway in the lung where it had been located:
This Game of Chicken Sucks
After pushing back the premiere date of the Heathers reboot following the Parkland and Santa Fe High School shootings,…
Trump Thanks Blacks
President Trump took some time out of his busy morning schedule to thank some Blacks. In a tweet, he gave Kanye West a…
Conspiracy: Prince Harry Meets Melania, Makes the Sign of the Devil
Not but a few hours after Prince Harry met Melania Trump in advance of the Invictus Games (a Paralympic event Prince…
Saks Fifth Avenue Has a 'Prison-Style Bootcamp' to Capitalize on 'Wellness'
Retail is dying. In its place, “wellness” is rising like a taut phoenix who does Tracy Anderson and cleanses her…
For Sean Spicer, All Roads Lead to Dancing With the Stars
If you are one of the millions of Americans who watch ABC’s unabashedly campy Dancing With the Stars—or one of the…
Is Halo Top Ice Cream Good? Is Halo Top Ice Cream Even Ice Cream?
When you search for a photo of Halo Top on the Associated Press image wire, the first result is of a SpaceX test…
Goodbye Gchat, Hello Chaos
A chat client, in my experience, needs to do one thing besides facilitate a text exchange between two or more parties:…
Here's a Real Chyron That Appeared on CNN Today
Here is a list of facts that are true: Florida is sinking, butts get flatter with time, Donald Trump gets 2 scoops of…
U.S. Intelligence Officials Are Withholding Information from Donald Trump Because They're Worried About Leaks
Because the current administration is operating like a bad Scandal spec script, U.S. intelligence officials are…
Bad Fashion From a Crappy Party: All the Unfortunate Looks From the Inauguration
WASHINGTON, D.C.—For weeks the fashion world has engaged in an internal debate about whether designers would or would…
80 Things Besides Donald Trump That Gave Us Panic Attacks in 2016
The year 2016 has been an ice cream sundae of realized horrors, topped off by a human that actually looks like a cherry…
Of Course Katrina Pierson Wants a Role in Donald Trump's Administration
Katrina Pierson, one of Donald Trump’s most tenacious and vocal surrogate, spent an awful lot of time on cable news,…
Reality is Over, According to 2016's Top 10 Best-Selling Movies
Reality as we know it is over, so it’s only fitting that 2016 is shaping up to be the first year in movie history where…
Trump Is First President to Call Taiwan Since 1979 and Oh Man, We're Totally Fucked
We still have seven weeks until the inauguration of an off-brand Miracle Mop after a Fanta accident and yet already…
With 12 Days Left To The Election, Donald Trump Pledges a 'New Deal for Black America'
Donald Trump, an inflated pig stomach full of rotten pierogi, made a desperate plea for the black vote today, telling a…
Can You Survive The View's 20th Anniversary Video Starring Mary J. Blige? (No)
Most music videos are made by a collection of musicians, directors, writers, cameramen, stylists, performers, and other…