President Trump took some time out of his busy morning schedule to thank some Blacks. In a tweet, he gave Kanye West a shout out for all the great work he has done for black people this week. This great work consists of West praising a black Trump stan, showing off his MAGA hat, and noting that he and Trump share “…
Not but a few hours after Prince Harry met Melania Trump in advance of the Invictus Games (a Paralympic event Prince Harry created for veterans and armed services personnel), Twitter noticed that he made what is unmistakably the sign of the horns: the hand signal of the devil.
Retail is dying. In its place, “wellness” is rising like a taut phoenix who does Tracy Anderson and cleanses her crystals under the light of every full moon. In an effort to save itself from succumbing to the power of Amazon, the New York Times reports that Saks Fifth Avenue has opened The Wellery, an “experiential”…
If you are one of the millions of Americans who watch ABC’s unabashedly campy Dancing With the Stars—or one of the hundreds who read my recaps of it—you’ll know that the show is something like a purgatory for has-beens hoping for a comeback, and celebrities on the way down. Like purgatory, it exists largely outside…
When you search for a photo of Halo Top on the Associated Press image wire, the first result is of a SpaceX test rocket sailing off towards the infinite expanse of outer space. A halo surrounds its glans, or whatever you call the tip of a rocket, probably due to some combination of atmospheric moisture, low…
A chat client, in my experience, needs to do one thing besides facilitate a text exchange between two or more parties: It needs to inform you whether someone is or is not available to send and receive such messages. Gchat used to do that fairly well—in a small box of frequent contacts, it displayed which of your past…
Here is a list of facts that are true: Florida is sinking, butts get flatter with time, Donald Trump gets 2 scoops of ice cream when everybody else gets 1, CNN ran this chyron today, we are all dead.
Because the current administration is operating like a bad Scandal spec script, U.S. intelligence officials are apparently withholding sensitive information from the President, according to a report from the Wall Street Journal.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—For weeks the fashion world has engaged in an internal debate about whether designers would or would not dress Melania Trump. Would designing for her become an implicit endorsement of her husband’s campaign of hate? Many thought yes, but it’s come down to the wire: she’s dressed in a cornflower blue…
The year 2016 has been an ice cream sundae of realized horrors, topped off by a human that actually looks like a cherry if that cherry was radioactive and run over by a convertible. A lot of fears that used to feel outlandish suddenly seem pretty plausible: apocalyptic climate change, nuclear war, fascism, close-up…
Katrina Pierson, one of Donald Trump’s most tenacious and vocal surrogate, spent an awful lot of time on cable news, often saying a whole lot of nonsense in service of one goal: to get Donald Trump to the White House. And now that the orange lunatic got his way and this world is headed for its end, Pierson wants in…
Reality as we know it is over, so it’s only fitting that 2016 is shaping up to be the first year in movie history where the top 10 movies in the domestic box office take place in the realm of fantasy.
We still have seven weeks until the inauguration of an off-brand Miracle Mop after a Fanta accident and yet already he’s getting us into position to... well, destabilize our relations with world powers, including those with nuclear capabilities!
Donald Trump, an inflated pig stomach full of rotten pierogi, made a desperate plea for the black vote today, telling a largely-white audience at a rally in North Carolina that if elected, he would make a “new deal for black America.”
Most music videos are made by a collection of musicians, directors, writers, cameramen, stylists, performers, and other audio-visual artists and specialists who have come together for the love of a song—or a paycheck. Other music videos, such as the one for Mary J. Blige’s “World’s Gone Crazy,” are not so much “made”…
At the end of the popular film Titanic (1997), Rose, the film’s protagonist, now an elderly woman, throws an expensive necklace into the ocean and then goes to bed to (apparently) die.
Thousands of delegates have traveled to Philadelphia to selflessly take part in their democracy. Here are probably half of them waiting for a shuttle to transport them between the Convention Center, the Wells Fargo arena, and their hotels. According to Weather.com, it currently feels like 109 degrees.
Welcome to ConBag, a daily roundup of gossip from the Republican National Convention, which we are attending for four very long days.
As promised, Fergie has released a new song entitled “MILF $”—pronounced “MILF money”—and as promised, I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!”
Today while staring at my bargain-basement wall calendar of the majestic Rocky Mountains, I made a thrilling realization. In the summer of 2016, for the first time in over a decade, I am not invited to a single wedding. Not one. The weddings—they are finally over.
