Do you want to live forever? Sure, we all do!

There’s something beautiful about living in America these days, and that’s the blended family. Who doesn’t love getting a whole new set of relatives that they possibly have even less in common with than their original ones! JUST KIDDING, MOM; with death, divorce, and remarriage, come some great new dynamics (once the…

For years I struggled to make myself a “fit person.” You know the kind—the ones who just have to get a jog in even when they’re on a boat; who hop in the shower and scrub the sweat off their glistening body, well-earned from an afternoon picking up weights and throwing them around; the kind who says they “love the…

We all have the one friend who, by virtue of financial situation, lifestyle choice, or a mortal fear of moving companies and packing tape, lives with roommates—and freaking loves it! They love it so much they can’t stop talking to you about every item their roommate Marie has left in the sink! They love it so much…

“I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me,” says Sonja Morgan in her Real Housewives of New York Season 3 tagline. Surely, you have a friend or loved one who can relate. These are gifts for the “DE-LUUUU-SION-AL,” party-loving Sonja with a sexy J in your life.

Everybody knows somebody who’s a little too obsessed with British costume dramas.

So they made the tough decision to get outta town. They had a goodbye at that bar they remembered being a little cleaner and a little more fun than it actually is these days. You stared at them wide-eyed because you couldn’t believe they were actually going through with it. The next morning, they took off super early…

You know the homegirl in your friend group who, back in August, broke up with her boyfriend because his friends just like, totally ignored her at Governor’s Ball and what the hell was that about? In September, her allergy to stone fruits was honestly the worst it has ever been. And then, in October, nobody got her…

While I recognize most of us don’t interact with literal SUR waitstaff in our everyday lives, we all have that one hot mess of a friend who is too old to be doing whatever stupid shit they’re doing. And even those friends deserve gifts—gifts to better their lives or simply keep them distracted so they leave you the…

Even if you’re not connected to a network of revolutionary hackers, everyone knows a guy who’s a little bit like Mr. Robot’s Elliot Alderson. Putting aside the fact that your personal Elliot Alderson is likely not the giant honking dreamboat that Rami Malek is (sorry to us all), there are a few defining…

Do you have a friend who identifies strongly with the #GirlBoss brand? It’s the friend who shares inspirational quotes about overcoming the difficulties of being a woman in corporate America. A friend who has a job that pays well, even though you’re not exactly sure what she does for a living. A friend who rails…

Imposing your will on the world is stressful work! And as we all know, stress leads to high blood pressure—which leads to death. And for the man who has everything, death is the one thing that he doesn’t want. Here are a few ways to avoid her.

If you don’t know who Marissa Hermer is, I feel sorry for you.

What do you get for the man or woman who has everything, and by everything I mean the ability to hang out with you all day and all night forever?

Should you be blessed to have a Phaedra Parks as a friend, then you know exactly what it’s like to be constantly on the defense, constantly on emotional guard. This friend is often silent but deadly—a good listener, though—and a connoisseur of metaphors. When they speak, it’s usually to call upon Jesus, give helpful…

You may have a friend who you’ve recently experienced as annoying. This friend suddenly couldn’t eat dairy products, and then, soon after, gluten; eventually, she began having trouble digesting onions, and raw vegetables, and alcohol, and starts saying things like “leaky gut” and “healing energy treatment.” She…

You know who is probably not being showered with enough gifts and attention just for making the huge relationship decision she and her significant other made recently? The bride-to-be in your life. Hear me out.

Babies and small children, unfortunately, are ill-equipped to fully appreciate Christmas. Their little hands can’t hold things, nor can they grasp the concept of gifts. They’re built that way, and it’s no one’s fault. While their lack of comprehension doesn’t render them completely useless, it does make it hard to…

Let’s imagine you work at a company. It’s a pretty good company, good enough that it decides, after much talk, to move to a bigger, fancier office. This office is much-heralded by those who have created it. And yet, it is still an office. It still has flaws, like any living, breathing thing.