Kelly Ripa Spotted Carrying David and Goliath, Is Handling This Like a Fucking Queen

Are you already burned out by the Kelly Ripa/Michael Strahan/ABC story? First of all, it’s been like 36 hours so if you are, you need to chill. This is, like, stage two of five. Second of all, I’m about to reel you back in, because Ripa just made what could possibly be the most well-curated and satisfyingly shady…