The NFL just announced who’s headlining next year’s Super Bowl halftime show, and, per Variety, it’s gonna be Maroon 5. Maybe you know them. Maybe you don’t. In case you don’t, we’ve assembled a helpful list of everything you need to know about them. Not might want. Need.

Everyone knows that the most important part of football is the dancing. Wanting a piece of the joy that large football men feel upon landing a touchdown in the end zone (?), three Jezebel staffers—Frida Garza, Prachi Gupta, and Esther Wang—decided to imitate some of their choreography.

Look, the world is a cruel and bitter place. Bad things happen, literally all the time. And let’s be specific, these bad things often happen directly as a result of toxic masculinity and the patriarchy.

Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Bailey Davis, a now-former cheerleader for the New Orleans Saints, was fired in January over an Instagram photo of herself wearing what sounds like the equivalent of a bathing suit. Now she’s filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission accusing the team of gender discrimination, according to…

Lady Gaga did not deliver the middle finger to Trump that was semi-expected at her Super Bowl halftime performance, but she did sing gay rights anthem “Born This Way” in front of a country whose rights seem to be receding by the moment. She also sung it in front of Vice President Mike Pence, who was there.

After weeks of enduring his brother blabbing his name/having his name blabbed about in relation to his brother’s name, football man Aaron Rodgers has responded to the suggestion that he and his brother, current Bachelorette finalist Jordan Rodgers, do not get along—and, furthermore, that Aaron does not get along with…

At this point, America has gotten pretty familiar with Jordan Rodgers, brother of Aaron Rodgers, because despite how much he’s argued he’s far more than just the brother of a famous football player, his edit on the show is certainly not showing up his other skills.

Nikki Glaser’s Comedy Central show Not Safe usually focuses on the sexual exploits people are shy to talk about openly, but on Tuesday, she dedicated a segment to the subject most universities don’t want to admit is event happening: campus rape.

Are you scared of the direction this country is headed in? Do you long for a strong, pro-Christ former football player who wasn’t even very good at football to take the freaking reins already? Well, you can just go ahead and breathe, my friends, because Tim Tebow has got this one in the bag.

At least one good thing is coming out of the NFL these days (besides, you know, “sport,” or whatever): a group of Carolina Panthers players have invented “Creedbombing,” the practice of screaming Creed lyrics at someone when they least expect it. Take us higher, boys!

700-WLW, a Cincinnati radio station, is issuing periodic “Big Ben Warnings” in the lead-up to Sunday’s Bengals vs. Steelers game. “The Steelers quarterback has been spotted in the downtown Cincinnati area. All females ages 18-40 are to use extreme caution, especially if heavily consuming alcohol” the fake alert warns,…

Nothing pumps up a crowd like a good marching band interlude, and nothing pumps up a marching band like a surreptitious and possibly accidental statement of virility.

On Tuesday, the Charlotte Observer ran a cute letter from a reader who is mad at Cam Newton, but perhaps not for the reason she thinks.

This fall, two great phenomena have disturbed our friends and neighbors. The generally reliable type (or steady flakes, now validated) are suddenly loudmouths, blustering and making excuses: one group because a planet appears to be moving backwards but isn’t actually, and the second because they’re consumed in a game…

An unidentified woman is accusing star University of Michigan football player Jabrill Peppers of giving her chlamydia. We know that because her accusations took the form of 5,000 flyers plastered all over campus.

In April, the NFL suspended Dallas Cowboy Greg Hardy after the league’s months-long investigation found that there was evidence that he’d physically abused his then-girlfriend, Nicole Holder. Hardy allegedly threatened to kill her, choked her, and threw her onto a couch covered in assault rifles.

On Sunday, three female sports reporters were initially denied postgame entrance into the Jacksonville Jaguars’ locker room because they were women. The usher checked with several men before allowing reporters Joey Chandler, Graham Watson, and one unidentified woman, who were all in Indianapolis for the Associated…