Saturday Night Social: Not Another Moment Shall We Trudge This Miserable Earth Without Bejazzled Shoes
THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Elton John Contracts Grave Bacterial Infection, Should Make Full Recovery
Oh hell no, Elton, not you too. Last week the Rocket Man contracted a “rare and potentially deadly” bacterial infection while on tour in South America. But thankfully, he is on the mend and should make a full recovery.
Elton John Told Ed Sheeran to Go Away For a While, So He Did
Sometimes it can be tempting to try to outrun attachments and responsibilities, at leasts for a while, but they have a tendency to catch up with you eventually, and, well, here I am writing about this Ed Sheeran person again.
The Devil Wears Prada Musical Snags Elton John
It will take a lot of singing to redeem a version of The Devil Wears Prada that doesn’t feature Meryl Streep, but these guys can probably cram the necessary numbers in there.
Did You Know Billie Lourd and Taylor Lautner Are Dating?
Sometimes, when the goss is slow, you discover a gem you’ve been over-looking for months as you sift through the dirt and dust of celebrity news on a three-day weekend.
Apparently Lindsay Lohan Has Written a Mean Girls 2 Treatment
Hey, were you wondering what Lindsay Lohan has been up to since breaking up with her billionaire fiancé and cultivating an inscrutably European accent? Rest easy, friends, for now we know: she’s been working on a treatment for a sequel to Mean Girls, the movie that made her a Famous.
Kellyanne Conway Doesn't Think Trump Was Bothered When Artists Told Him Not to Use Their Music
A TMZ paparazzo on the political beat managed to nab Kellyanne Conway while she was pinballing around DC in a Kellyanne Conway-sized Louis Vuitton scarf Thursday morning. Once brought to a halt, the Trump campaign manager was asked some questions about the President-elect’s musical tastes that she was more than happy…
King. Joffrey. Vogues.
King Joffrey has come back from the dead, and he is voguing all for you.
Charlize Theron Did NOT Ghost Sean Penn, Claims She Doesn't 'Even Know What That Is'
Last June, it was reported that Charlize Theron, alleged human, broke up with Sean Penn, garbage human, by “ghosting” him. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, to ghost someone is to break up with them by simply disappearing. No sit-downs, no phone calls, no Post-its—just...nothing. And the thought of Theron…
Pamela Anderson's Abusive Ex Calls Her a 'Serial Baby Killer'
Well done, Pamela Anderson, on attempting to get as far away from Rick Salomon, her allegedly abusive ex, as possible. Responding to Anderson's recent restraining order against him, Salomon—a real winner of a husband—has stated in legal documents that his estranged wife is a both "serial baby killer" and a "fraud."
Elton John and David Furnish Invited All of Instagram to Their Wedding
Today, Elton John and David Furnish finally got married, on the ninth anniversary of their civil partnership! They both took to Instagram (btw Elton John now has an Instagram) to invite folks and share special moments throughout the day.
Susan Sarandon Must Be Sucking the Lifeblood of Virgins
In today's Tweet Beat, Elton John meets a fan, we too cannot believe that our nation has kept Keeping Up With the Kardashians on television for ten seasons and how the hell else does 68 year-old Susan Sarandon look like she's my age?
Elton John Believes Jesus is For Same-Sex Marriage
The ever colorful Sir Elton John thinks Pope Francis is "wonderful," Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby is "doing a good job," Vladimir Putin just needs to meet some gay people to soften up, and oh yeah, Jesus? Totally cool with same-sex marriage.
Vegas Britney Spears Might Be the Healthiest Britney Spears
Does Britney Spears' Vegas residency make her a “feminist role model for single working mothers everywhere"?
Your Friday Earworm: Miguel and Wale Cover 'Bennie and the Jets'
HOLY GOD MIGUEL IS PERFECT.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Officially Break Off Engagement
Hold on to your butts! Because they're about to get blown off with the sheer magnitude of this celebrity surprise. Twenty-year-old naked construction worker Miley Cyrus and guy-she-literally-hasn't-mentioned-in-months-who-seems-to-spend-most-of-his-time-on-a-different-continent Liam Hemsworth are officially not…
Lindsay Lohan Is Getting $2 Million To Let Oprah Life Coach Her Ass
The inside of Lindsay Lohan's brain is composed of vodka, PediaLite and one failed Tyra Banks music video, but this hasn't deterred Team Oprah from offering her $2 million actual American dollars to feature an 8-part docuseries on OWN about LiLo's life and struggles. (For context, she got $1 million from her Playboy …
Your Boyfriend Tom Hardy Considers Playing Sir Elton in a Movie
Looks like your boyfriend Tom Hardy is considering getting in on the biopic game. HitFix is reporting that Michael Gracey, the director behind the upcoming Elton John movie Rocketman, has reached out to Hardy to see if he has any interest in the titular role. But of course you knew that already — you and your…
The Great Elton John-Madonna Feud Is Over at Long Last
The long-standing feud between Elton John and Madonna is over now, according to Elton John. Go ahead, frightened citizens — emerge from your bunkers to greet this new day of peace between the celebrity Olympians.
Amanda Bynes Informs Twitter That She Has An Eating Disorder
Sigh. Amanda Bynes' repeated insistence on only using her (technically crappy; see above) Twitter selfies comes from a dark place, it looks like. I know: You're totally shocked.
