Tomorrow is the best holiday of the year: February 15, when the candy goes on sale. In the meantime, it’s Valentine’s Day, and this year the Hallmark Channel is attempting to seize the day that should rightly belong to them, given their history in the greeting card business.

The first time I came across this story, I read it as “socks,” not “stocks,” and was extremely impressed, but what the cold hard truth boils down to is that Kanye West gifted Kim Kardashian money for Christmas. Temperamental money, but money nonetheless.

I once lived in an illegal apartment in Brooklyn where the landlord divvied up one electric bill among the tenants, allegedly to mitigate suspicion from The Authorities. This may or may not have been a scam, and one month my roommate and I were on the hook for over $700. That was pretty bad, but not quite as bad as…

After waiting patiently through 25 days of faded blue denim, white tops, and a Christmas tree harvested from The Polar Express’s uncanny valley, Kim Kardashian finally revealed her family’s full Christmas card. But the final photo, published Monday night, did not contain what many followers had expected since day 1: a…

This year on Christmas morning, we four adult children will emerge from our various haphazard sleeping situations, my sister and I from the double bed we traditionally share, and my brothers from their makeshift beds in the unfinished basement, or perhaps one of them will have fallen asleep on the couch the night…

After a 72-foot tall Christmas tree was put up in Rome’s Piazza Venezia, it was clear that something was up with the tree. It’s a skeletal choice, with it’s needles falling off, and the Italians could not stop making fun of it.

Christmas cards are the worst of all Christmas traditions, and I say this as a person who comes from a country where a boiled meat fat pudding is traditionally served for Christmas dessert. They are bad because they are sent out of a sense of social duty, not actual warm feeling, and because if you receive one from…

Barack Obama no longer has to spend his free time chained by the trappings of the presidency, so instead he spent Thursday hanging out with about 50 middle schoolers at the Boys & Girls Club of Greater Washington in Northeast DC. It seems like everyone had a nice time, except maybe the small child in his lap, who…

There is a time and a place for everything in this world, except for three things: 1) Santacon, 2) the GOP, and 3) limited-time-only Starbucks drinks, such as Starbuck’s Christmas Tree Frappuccino® Blended Crème, a semi-liquid brown and off-green flavor sculpture available only at participating Starbucks locations.

Mariah Carey is many things to many people: mother, daughter, occasional PR disaster, and, above all, an elusive chanteuse. But is she the Queen of Christmas? We at Dirtcast know the answer in our hearts, but felt it necessary to interrogate what has now become a central question during the holiday season for…

The worst thing about Christmas is that it makes winter longer, and unbearably so. Thanksgiving ends and suddenly it’s supposed to be Christmas, even though there are still orange leaves here and there, which some people—I would venture to say a lot of people—like. Fall is tolerable enough that we don’t need to run…

Mariah Carey is many things to many people: mother, daughter, sister, lover, sartorial inspiration, meme-generator, icon. What she is not, however, is the “queen of Christmas.” Did you hear that? Are you paying attention, madam! Please do not call Mariah Carey the queen of Christmas.

America’s bizarre obsession with Starbucks holiday cups continues this week and finally, I’m here for it.

Christmas may have well been cancelled last year when the Kardashians withheld their annual Christmas card, but rest assured, the tradition is back and there will be another awkwardly staged Kardashian Khristmas photo this year, as well as a hokey Christmas special.

The United Kingdom is great for at least one thing and that is providing us with an amusingly low-stakes seasonal kerfuffle. This time, it involves an expensive advent calendar sold under the brand of a wildly successful YouTuber.

Here’s a fun little uproar that’s about neither our deep fear of nuclear war nor sexual harassment: Amazon has ruined Christmas for the entire United Kingdom, by implying that it is parents rather than Santa who deliver the gifts.

It’s beginning to feel like Christmas HOLYFUCK what do we have here??? Watch this baby get blasted with the full force of pre-Black Friday sales and ohmigod experience the miracle of the season or shiny things or just LIFE–either way it’s so totally off the walls that–ooooooooooo, I can’t type anymore because I need…

What is Gwen Stefani doing here? beleaguered Americans ask themselves again as she bursts into a cultural setting shrouded in high-end camo and absconds with a product launch. This time she’s hiding behind a branch, but we know it’s her.

Every year, America anoints a “must-have” toy item, which parents must dutifully acquire or accept that they are basically a villain in their child’s own personal fairy tale. Last year, it was the “Hatchimal.” This year, it looks to be something called a “Fingerling.”

‘Tis the season for wearing brutally fugly sweaters intended to make you appear funny, charming, and filled with excessive holiday spirit.