Chris Brown has been arrested in Florida on an outstanding warrant for felony battery.

So much of news is just shitty patterns that persist, rendering them baffling predictable, so without further ado….

The New York Times reported that a woman filed a lawsuit in the Los Angeles County Superior Court against Chris Brown on Wednesday, alleging that she was raped in the singer’s California home, by a friend of his, and held against her will.

After Snapchat removed and apologized for a particularly awful advertisement asking users if they would rather “punch Chris Brown” or “slap Rihanna,” the pop singer has responded on Instagram.

Snapchat has removed an ad that ran on the app asking users if they would rather “slap Rihanna” or “punch Chris Brown.”

Calling Chris Brown: Welcome to My Life a “film” is like calling a press release “literature.” It’s technically true if we are to wipe our assessments of all nuance—welcome to Brown’s life, indeed.

Sometimes you’re walking down the street, just minding your own business, drinking a coffee in one hand and clutching your phone for dear life in the other, when suddenly a notification hits your device announcing an ex you haven’t been in touch with in years just liked a picture you posted of your cat trying to eat a…

In what sounds like a real-life casting-couch porno opener, Emmy Rossum tells the Hollywood Reporter that a director asked her to audition for a role simply by wearing a bikini. In an actress roundtable, she says:

Harrison Garcia, aka “Cuban Harry,” was convicted yesterday on five felonies related to armed drug trafficking. During his trial, feds revealed they were investigating Lil Wayne and Chris Brown because of their ties to Garcia. He faces life in prison and will be sentenced June 3.

Harrison Garcia, who has been referred to as a “27-year-old schmuck” by his own defense lawyer, currently awaits trial in Miami, having been accused of illegally selling marijuana, Xanax, and lean. Garcia reportedly referred to himself as the “CEO of Purple Drank,” and his Instagram handle is muhammad_a_lean.

My favorite family show Black-ish made a misstep with last night’s episode, which featured Chris Brown in a guest role as a cliché rapper named Rich Youngsta, an appearance that served no purpose.

Today in longreads comes Danielle Bacher’s “Chris Brown’s Downward Spiral: Insiders Open Up About His Struggles With Addiction and Anger,” an almost 5,000-word piece for Billboard. In it, its struggling R&B star subject comes across as a tortured man who can’t (and/or won’t) get a handle on his addiction and mental…

Karreuche Tran, former paramour of Grade A dirtbag Chris Brown has filed a restraining order against the singer because he allegedly told some people earlier this month that he was going to kill her.

Now I understand why Johnny Depp was being such a dong about paying Amber Heard her money.

Suing Oprah Winfrey sounds like an exercise in futility, but that hasn’t stopped Otisa C. Strickland from filing a lawsuit claiming that Oprah stole the idea for OWN’s hit show Iyanla: Fix My Life.

In their 1998 hit duet “The Boy Is Mine,” Monica and Brandy battle in such glorious harmony. Then, alas, life imitated art, and a quarrel resulted in a decades’ long feud. Will the women mend fences? Monica appears willing, but Brandy — less so.

Wednesday night on Snapchat, Kylie Jenner used several snaps to document her giving her “baby,” Tyga, a brand new Bentley for...I don’t know, being alive? This is an interesting development, as you might remember a story that broke yesterday that claimed Tyga’s Ferrari was repossessed while he and Kylie were shopping…

My favorite sister from Calabasas Kourtney Kardashian won’t let her angel baby children watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians because the content is just “not appropriate.”

Chris Brown’s epic day of facing off the police from inside his mansion, which reached its inevitable conclusion when he was arrested, has now been tied up with a hefty bow of a bail fee.