Which One of These New Chipotle Bowls Will Make Me Ill?
Chipotle, blessed kingdom of fake tacos, is introducing new diet-friendly bowls in an effort to bring in new diners.…
Chipotle Is Retraining All Its Employees to Keep You From Getting Sick
*Elio in Call Me By Your Name voice* Chipotle, chipotle, chipotle. What do I do with you?
I'm Praying the New Chipotle Quesadilla Won't Be a Complete Disaster
There are two types of people in this world: those that love Chipotle and those that hate it.
My Mother Confirms: There Is a Rat Problem by This Brooklyn Chipotle [Updated]
In extremely local news, a rat infestation is slowly devouring Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights, according to a repor…
Chipotle Responds to Allegations Their Food Nearly Killed Supergirl Star Jeremy Jordan
After falling so ill Thursday night that he “almost died,” Supergirl star Jeremy Jordan recorded a series of Instagram…
Chipotle Is Still Trying
When will happy days return for Chipotle? No one can say; all we know for sure is that it’s not yet.
10,000 Employees Are Suing Chipotle For Wage Theft
The dark winter of Chipotle’s soul stretches on as the company is hit with a class action lawsuit alleging that many of…
Chipotle Employee Calls Job a 'Nightmare,' Starts Petition Asking for Better Conditions
Despite their best efforts to win back the public with free burritos and loyalty cards, Chipotle just can’t seem to…
Massachusetts Chipotle Temporarily Shuts Down After Four Employees Get Sick, Yikes
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?
3 Female Managers Win Discrimination Suit Against Chipotle; Congratulations to My Queens
On Monday, according to WLWT, three former managers at a Cincinnati-area Chipotle won a gender discrimination lawsuit…
My Fellow Americans, Our Long National Nightmare Is Over
“Here the people rule,” said Gerald Ford after the fall of Nixon, as well as Jia Tolentino after the fall of…
First E. Coli and Now Gender Discrimination: Chipotle Is Having a Very Good Year
Chipotle, the fast-food restaurant that will probably kill Jezebel editor Jia Tolentino (RIP Jia), is having a very…
Counterpoint: I Can't Wait For This Bitch to Die of Chipotle
Today, on this website, my colleague Jia Tolentino wrote that she will continue eating Chipotle “until it fucking kills…
I Will Eat Chipotle Until It Fucking Kills Me
Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is…
Prayers Up: Chipotle Is Closing All of Its Locations for a Day
Chipotle has temporarily closed several of its locations across the country due to E. coli outbreaks over the past few…
Chipotle Sued for Concealing 'Faulty' Quality Controls From Investors
Uh oh. It seems our our blessed Church of Chipotle has gone astray and lost itself in the mire of legal entanglements.…
Chipotle's E. Coli Outbreak Has Gotten Worse
Chipotle started off 2015 with a bang. Earlier this year, the fresh-Mex chain got some fame after Hillary Clinton…
I'm Not Saying You're Gonna Get E. Coli If You Go to Chipotle, I'm Just Saying Be Careful
Remember when Chipotle shut down 43 restaurants in Oregon and Washington earlier this month because of an E. coli…
43 Chipotles Shut Down After E. Coli Outbreak, But I'm Still Willing to Risk It
Chipotle, my favorite restaurant, has voluntarily shuttered 43 of its locations in Washington and Oregon this week…
Qdoba Unveils 'the Quentessa,' a Hot, Imaginary Woman Who Loves Qdoba
Qdoba is tired of playing second fiddle to Chipotle in the world of Fresh-Mex chain restaurants, so they came up with…