Welcome to Midweek Madness, Jezebel’s weekly tabloid roundup where the advertorial synergy is apparent and everyone’s a SCARY SKINNY!!!! legend.

Good morning, a Starbucks Zombie Frappuccino dose of upchuck (Piers Morgan) for you:

The man pictured above at some sort of pop-up McDonald’s booth is Brody Jenner. For a moment in the early 2000s that lasted about as long as it takes to clear one’s throat, he was Caitlyn Jenner’s Most Famous Child. His younger half-sister Kylie currently holds that title, and gave birth to a baby named Stormi on…

After nearly three years, the legal battle stemming from a fatal car accident involving Caitlyn Jenner and the passengers of three other vehicles appears to have finally been settled.

The Offset proposed to Cardi B last night onstage at her sold-out show in Philly. You’d kinda have to say yes because shiiiiitttt you can’t really have the Relationship Discussion when you’re mic-ed, and the seating capacity of the Wells Fargo Center is 21,000 people, and there are a bajillion people on the internet,…

Caitlyn Jenner got an earful from transgender activist and editor Ashlee Marie Preston on Sunday at the Trans Chorus event in Los Angeles, with Preston approaching Jenner to tell her exactly how she feels about the latter’s support of Donald Trump. The showdown came just a day after Trump officially banned trans…

News broke yesterday that Beyoncé went rollerskating. From this event, an unholy homemade music video burst forth onto Instagram:

Days after Kid Rock announced intentions to run for the Senate in Michigan—news that I am, for my own well-being, taking with a grain of salt—Caitlyn Jenner revealed that she’s been mulling a Senate bid in California.

Despite having a wealth of material that should have made it essential viewing—from Kim’s Paris robbery, to Kourtney’s rumored love life, to Caitlyn’s memoir—the March season premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians was the show’s least-watched since 2008. Maybe the family has, after almost 10 years on the air,…

Paris Jackson loves nudity and you can too!

In an interview with Andy Cohen on his SiriusXM show (honestly how does this man find the time), Caitlyn Jenner revealed that she has not spoken to her stepdaughter Khloe Kardashian “in, like, two years.”

It’s been about two years since Caitlyn Jenner sat down with Diane Sawyer to discuss her identity as a transgender woman. The interview broke ratings records. Her newest interview did not do so well.

It’s been nearly two years since Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in an interview with Diane Sawyer, and their much-anticipated follow-up is scheduled to air Friday night. Since the last time they spoke, Jenner has revealed herself to be a troublingly un-woke and increasingly maligned cultural figure. She said…

Ed Sheeran, a man who is either the enemy or a ginger troubadour responsible for a song that I can’t help singing along to even though I hate myself for it, has a lot of bad tattoos. Here’s a pleasant story about his most recent addition.

In The Secrets of My Life, the forthcoming from Caitlyn Jenner, she claims that Robert Kardashian told her that he knew O.J. Simpson was guilty of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

After just one season of teaching wannabe models how to brand themselves and become Instagram- and Snapchat-famous (it was kind of shocking to see how little about this past season was actually about modeling, at least in the two episodes I watched...), Pope-endorsed legend, fashion icon, Daily Mail queen, and…

Caitlyn Jenner, a steadfast Republican, is disappointed. She’s upset that Donald Trump, a man who apparently promised her that he’d “protect the LGBTQ community,” has failed to do so.

On Tuesday, during the North Carolina gubernatorial debate, Gov. Pat McCrory responded to a question from NBC News moderator Chuck Todd about which bathroom Caitlyn Jenner should use in Charlotte. We’ll give you one guess what his answer was.

In a curious twist to Kim Kardashian’s bizarre and highly-upsetting robbery that occurred Sunday night, French police say that there’s no security footage of the incident. Sacre bleu!

Somehow, despite the fact that one candidate took $20,000 from his charity to pay for a six-foot-tall portrait of himself, there are undecided voters remaining in this country. One of them, apparently, is Kim Kardashian. Haha.