Republican House Candidate Is a 9/11 Truther Who Believes Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Taylor Swift Are in the Illuminati

Bill Falwell is the Republican nominee in Illinois’s 17th district, competing against Democratic incumbent Rep. Cheri Bustos in a district that narrowly favored Trump in the 2016 election. Falwell is firmly on the Trump train, but he’s also something of a Tea Party throwback mixed with a dash of Pizzagate. He wants to…

Florida GOP Officials Discover That Their New Secretary Was Charged in Hammer Attack

The executive board of the Broward County Republicans recently found out that their newly-elected secretary, 28-year-old Rupert Tarsey, used to go by a different name: Rupert Ditsworth. And Rupert Ditsworth, unfortunately, was charged with attempted murder in 2007 for allegedly beating a female classmate with a hammer…

Auschwitz Criticizes Louisiana Congressman For Making a Video Inside a Gas Chamber: 'It's Not a Stage' 

A Louisiana Congressman is being roundly criticized by the Auschwitz Memorial for shooting his own little Ken Burns-meets-campaign-ad video inside one of the gas chambers there. Congressman Clay Higgins, who recently wrote that “all of Christendom... is at war with Islamic horror,” managed to turn his visit to the…

Dipshit Missouri Lawmaker Beheads Chicken on Facebook Live to Announce Anti-Abortion Bill

Missouri State Rep. Mike Moon is a politician who has compared abortion to the Holocaust, proposed adding an exhibit on abortion tools next to the slavery exhibit in Missouri’s State Museum, and filed legislation to give an embryo the rights of a person. On Monday, Moon pulled another gross stunt in the name of the…

Alaska State Rep Is Confident That Women Get Abortions For the Exciting Travel Opportunity 

Rep. David Eastman (R-Wasilla) is pretty sure that Alaskan women are running a real tricky con with this abortion business, declaring in an interview: “You have individuals who are in villages and are glad to be pregnant, so that they can have an abortion because there’s a free trip to Anchorage involved.” He declined…

This Farthead Wants to Rename the St. Louis Zoo 'The Midwest Abortion Sanctuary City Zoological Park'

Can you imagine hating something so much that you think, our only option is to involve the zoo animals? I understand that zoo animals don’t care about politics because they don’t understand them. I also can infer that they wouldn’t care even if they could understand them, because zoo animals are prisoners without…

State Senator Who Once Proposed Ban on Eating Aborted Fetuses Charged With Child Prostitution 

Oklahoma state senator Ralph Shortey, a “family values” Republican with a history of supporting absurd anti-abortion and anti-LGBT measures, is facing three felony charges related to child prostitution after allegedly soliciting sex from a 17-year-old boy. He has since resigned, and plead not guilty on Friday.

Oklahoma State Rep.: God 'Brings Beauty From the Ashes' in Pregnancies Resulting from Rape

Debating an Oklahoma bill that would outlaw abortion in cases of genetic abnormalities or Down syndrome, state Rep. George Faught (R) responded to a question about abortion in cases of rape or incest by confidently stating that in many biblical cases, God wanted women to get raped. Well, why didn’t Faught tell women…

'Family Values' Politician Accused of Affair With Patient (Who Was Also His Cousin) and Prescribing Her Opioids

Here’s a local trainwreck, to momentarily distract you from the five-airplane-collision that is the state of our national affairs: A Republican Tennessee state senator who ran on a platform of—what else—Christian family values is accused of having an extramarital affair with his second cousin, who was both an employee…

Utah GOPer Wants Everyone to Forget About Equal Pay, 'Allow the Mother to Remain in the Home'

James Green, vice chair of the Wasatch County GOP in Utah, wrote a truly astounding letter to the editor this week arguing against Senate Bill 210, which would direct employers to establish uniform pay criteria and study pay disparities between men and women. Let’s not do that, Green argued, because men should make…

So Many Politicians Were Offended by the Women's March in Such an Original Way

Mississippi State Senator Chris McDaniel was upset and deeply grossed out by the Women’s March on Washington D.C., which, unacceptably, featured women with “piercings, tattoos [and] body paintings” talking about birth control. Nauseating. But the Senator wasn’t alone: a great many male elected officials had similar,…

Mississippi Pol Very Offended By the Women's March, Especially the Gross Part About Birth Control 

Mississippi State Senator Chris McDaniel, a tea party Republican, has many beliefs. He believed, in 2014, that his Republican primary opponent for Mississippi U.S. Senate, who received support from black voters, won via voter fraud. He also believed that Ole Miss’s 2015 decision to remove the state flag, which…

Extremely Mature Congressman Refuses to Talk About Transition of Power With the Guy Who Beat Him 

In a sort of a medium-size dick situation, a New Jersey Congressman is refusing to discuss transition matters—or even call back— the guy who beat him. Republican Rep. Scott Garrett lost his reelection bid to Democrat Josh Gottheimer in November. Gottheimer claims that since then, Garrett has been very hard to get on…

Oklahoma Rep Says He Was Being Sarcastic When He Called For Hillary Clinton to Die By Firing Squad

An Oklahoma state legislator says he was merely making a funny joke when he said Hillary Clinton should be executed by firing squad. When he got a call from a reporter, though, Rep. John Bennett accused Clinton of “treason” and insisted, again, that people should die for that. Bennett previously wrote a Facebook post…

Louisiana Politician Makes a Commercial to Explain Why He Sexted a 17-Year-Old Boy

A married, Catholic Louisiana politician is facing calls to resign after it came to light that he sexted with a 17-year-old boy, bought him expensive underwear, and made out with him a little bit in a food court. Mike Yenni, who’s now president of Jefferson Parish but was mayor of the city of Kenner at the time,…