The President only tweeted three times today, thank God

Tuesday cry time.

What would you have done?

The real national emergency is the fact that I drank nine cans of Diet Dr. Pepper today and still feel alive!

Another day, another hopeful Democrat enters the 2020 race.

Hope everyone is staying warm and cozy.

I’m planning on binge watching the rest of You on Netflix for the duration of this arctic blast. What about you?

It’s Day 34 of the government shutdown. How are you doing?

The government’s still shut down, and coincidentally my body feels like it’s shutting down!

I am sorry to deluge you with so much shit today, but it is called Barf Bag for a reason.

Are you going to watch Donald Trump spew some racist lies tonight? May I suggest you watch something else that will…

Members of the 116th Congress were sworn in today. (Mostly good!)

Happy New Year! First Barf Bag of 2019! Let’s get on with it!

Hope you’re enjoying this erotic photo.

It’s Thursday, I’m vaping, what are you doing?

I think this is my last Barf Bag? It’s been barfy, everyone……

It’s me, just vaping away on a Thursday.

On the bright side, Trump barely tweeted today!

“Woof” @ all of this.

More is yet to come.