The Phone Is Too Fucking Big
The new crop of (big) iPhones have left some women claiming the design is sexist toward their teeny tiny lady hands, Peo…
Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani Are Writing an Immigration Anthology Series for Apple
Amid the anti-immigration horrors occurring daily at the border and across America, Apple has decided to order a…
Octavia Spencer to Star in TV Series Based on a Novel About the True Crime Podcast Craze
Apple is reportedly developing what looks to be a good and derivative show, executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and…
Apple Orders 2 Seasons of Morning Show Drama Starring Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston
That very tempting scripted TV project about morning news shows starring Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon of…
All of Our Questions About the New iPhone X
On Tuesday afternoon, Apple announced a pair of CIA-friendly intellectual cellular devices for the next immediate…
iPhone 7 Hissing With Disapproval At Its New Owner
The iPhone 7 has arrived, and—apparently—it’s an especially temperamental model. Many who have already acquired Apple’s…
Here's the Easy Way To Lose All Your Friends With iOS 10
Apple finally released the long-awaited update to iOS this week, and it’s filled with so many exciting new features…
Some Thoughts About the Seventh Telephone
I have heard that there is a lot of hype around the seventh-ish version of Apple’s telephone. I’m sorry to be so frank,…
Barbra Streisand Didn't Like How Siri Pronounced Her Name, So She Called Apple and Made Them Change It
Barbra Streisand, the only living legend of stage and screen with a mall in her basement, pronounces the second “S” in…
Shade Court: We're Back For Real This Time
It was Mariah Carey, the Lady-Protector of High Shade from the land of the Eyerolling Careys, who once sang about the…
Gwyneth Paltrow Will Mentor Ample Apps on Apple App Show
We all like to make fun of Goop, but we’re the ones talking about it while Gwyneth Paltrow is wiping her ass with a $275…
Hundreds of Tenants Will Be Displaced By the 'Largest-Ever' Silicon Valley Eviction
The Reserve Apartments complex is located in an area of San Jose that is five miles from Apple headquarters, 14 miles…
Siri Now Has a Better Response to 'I Was Raped' Than 'I Don't Know What You Mean'
Following criticism of Siri’s inadequate responses to the phrase “I was raped,” Apple has made its voice assistant bette…
Disgraceful: Apple Photoshopped This Woman to Make Her Look More Like Helen Mirren
At today’s big Apple event, the tech company unveiled plenty of new toys for its loyal consumers. Among them was a new…
Shade Court: Diplo Is Confused, Obama Serves and Don't Come For Janet
Do you think god conspired to allow the passage of gay marriage on the same day as Shade Court to honor Dorian Corey in…
Taylor Swift Kills With Kindness, Forces Apple to Pay Up
Taylor Swift, music’s guardian white angel, just got Apple to come up off its money stacks.
Apple Wants iTunes Radio To Be as Big as Madonna
Now that Tidal has, so far, proven to be simply a Nice Idea, Apple is stepping up its iTunes Radio game and attempting…
Talking to Meghan Daum About Selfishness, Being Childless by Choice
Today, 19 percent of women end their potential childbearing years without having had any children—making childlessness…
Fuck This Beautiful Apple Ad and All the Emotions It Just Made Me Feel
Ugh, this heartwarming commercial by the World's Most Profitable or Valuable or Coolest or Whatever company tells a…