Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Gwyneth and Apple. Reese and Ava. Vanessa and Lily-Rose. Can you believe how much these daughters’ look like the famous women who birthed them and supplied 50% of their chromosomal DNA?

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Chances are the answer is yes because you’re aware—based on simple life experience and scientific backup—that children, more often than not, carry some physical resemblance to their biological parents. But while this basic fact of life is obvious to anyone who’s not an idiot, it’s still coming as a delightful surprise to online celebrity gossip publications, with “[INSERT CELEBRITY CHILD] looks just like [INSERT CELEBRITY PARENT]” becoming a fallback favorite headline.

“That moment when you realize you actually are becoming your mother #twinning #imnotmad,” read a recent caption to one of Rumer Willis’ Instagram photos. “Demi Moore and Daughter Rumer Willis Look Like Twins in New Photo,” reads People’s headline.

To quote Rumer, #imnotmad at People. They were just picking up where she left off and, in complete fairness, her photo looks like reverse images of the same person. Honestly, the caption should read “That moment when you realize you actually are actually your mom’s reflection and are stuck in mirror world #help #breaktheglass,” but it doesn’t. It says “twinning,” so that’s what People ended up going with.

Unfortunately, other publications don’t have such valid excuses.

Here’s Reese Witherspoon’s daughter Ava Phillipe, who SHOCKINGLY looks like a mix between Reese and Reese’s ex husband Ryan Phillipe, the two people who had sex to create her.

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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents
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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Can you believe how much Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos’ kids look like Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos?

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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents
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Or how Apple Martin looks just like her biological mother, Gwyneth Paltrow?

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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Crazy how this baby bear looks just like a tinier version of this bigger bear! It’s like they’re twins!

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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Just like Lily-Rose Depp and Vanessa Paradis!

Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents
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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Yeah, basically!

Check out total “twins” Lisa Bonet and Zoë Kravitz. Are there other, more sensical terms to describe their familial resemblance? Mother and daughter maybe? Whatever! They both have long hair and cheekbones so TWINS it is!

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This small Coke can, modeled to look like a big Coke can, looks so much like a big Coke can!

Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents
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It’s almost as striking as how much Julianne Moore and Bart Freundlich’s children look like Julianne Moore and Bart Freundlich.

Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents
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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

Galatea, a woman made from stone, looks like straight up like marble’s twin in this Falconet statue!

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Illustration for article titled Tabloids Constantly Shocked That Kids Look Like Their Famous Parents

And here’s a whole list of kids who look a little bit like their parents.

Pretty crazy stuff that’s definitely worth devoting endless headlines to. So tell us, are you the biological child of a celebrity who you heavily resemble? Just kidding. NEVER TELL US. We know how biology works. Now please, wear a batman suit to a wedding or rant about why you, son of Tom Hanks, should get to say the N-word so we have something worthy to write about.

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Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Images via Instagram/Shutterstock/Getty/the AP/Wikipedia. Illustration by Bobby Finger.

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DISCUSSION

ken-yadiggit
Ken Yadiggit, Adios

My favourite thing is when people tell me how much I look like my parents. They’ll go on and on about how it’s amazing I’m just like my mom. One guy even said “It’s crazy, you look just like your grandfather!”

I’ve gotten to the point where I just smile knowingly and say, “Yes, that is truly amazing considering the fact that I am adopted.”