Subjecting Children to P!nk Not a Sign Of Bad Parenting, Judge Rules

A New Jersey judge has shut down a father’s complaint that his ex was abusing her parental discretion when she took their daughter to a P!nk concert in 2013. The reason? Attending the concert may have put the (then) 11-year-old into harm’s way and traumatized her, putting the child’s safety and welfare into jeopardy. The courts reponse? “So What?”

While all court complaints have to be taken seriously, Judge Lawrence R. Jones responded to an unnamed father’s desperate plea to declare his daughter’s mother a “bad parent” with a 37 page document that outlined both the history of Rock & Roll and the assertion that while P!nk’s lyrics and dance moves “may be suggestive,” that they’re not really inappropriate for a tween. Then he invited the father to climb right back into his time machine and travel back to the 1950s, when his complaint could have taken seriously (well, as long as the father had claimed that P!nk was a communist). (Not really, but how awesome would that be in a court doc?)

Here’s what Jones wrote in his response after speaking with the girl and getting her side of things:

“To the contrary, when all the smoke from the custody litigation clears, it will be self-evident that all which happened here is that a young girl went to her first rock concert with her mother and had a really great time.”

Jones said decisions about whether concerts are appropriate for children are based on several factors, including the maturity level of the child, whether the songs are laced with profanities and whether they incite violent messages.

The only things a P!nk concert could inspire a tween to do would be a) swear at her parents a little, which is something they’d do regardless because life is the worst thing that could happen to anyone at that age and oh my god aren’t parents the worst? And b) consider joining the circus and learning the flying trapeze, which is actually a marketable skill, so I don’t know what anyone is really complaining about here.

It’s ironic that what the girl’s father didn’t consider when filing his complaint was the fact that having to be interviewed by a judge might have been more traumatic for his daughter than the concert she went to. Oh, and also that petty custody disputes like this don’t endear children to their parents at all. But, you know, best of luck to the tween, who at least knows she’s got P!nk to see her through the hard days of hitting puberty while at least one of your parents is being an ass.