Stassi Schroeder, Queen Bee of Vanderpump Rules, is known for her particularly basic-yet-stylish fashion choices. (I’m allowed to say that, she named her best-selling book Next Level Basic: The Definitive Basic Bitch Handbook. It’s a compliment, okay?) In line with her unimpeachable brand is her debut collection for Just Fab. I was pretty positive it was just going to be a bunch of off-the-shoulder tops, which she loves and which Jezebel alum Kara Brown wrote a scathing screed about, but it isn’t.
Personally, I find that the particular shape only looks good on a small chunk of the population, a demographic that perfectly aligns with Stassi’s fanbase. Imagine my surprise when I learned her collection is not only more than billowy blouses of questionable structure—there’s some decently cute stuff in there. Like, if I wore colors, I’d totally consider purchasing them. Here are the findings of my investigation:
Come on, that’s adorable! I do wish the muted yellow trend would take a brief siesta and let some other colors have some shine (nothing against mustard) but this light linen jumpsuit looks perfect for, I don’t know, the Hamptons, or wherever Stassi is in this very moment. I’m also confident you could get a cheap alternative at Target, but to each their own.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 9/10
Another romper, and it’s white, which I’d argue is Stassi’s signature color—that or baby blue, which there is a lot of in this collection. It’s like she just designed stuff she already owns. Not that that’s a bad thing. I mean, maybe it is if she’s shopping at small designers instead of Zara, but I doubt she is? Anyway, this is fine.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 7/10
Stassi is a WeHo witch (West Hollywood, for the uninitiated), which means she is constantly in sunshine and requires fashionable protection for those blue eyes. These sunglasses.... are somehow not terrible? I appreciate her ability to totally bypass the tiny frames trend and if I could remove those lens, I’d totally wear them as gaudy prescription glasses.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 8/10
The woman who owns this bag is bold, or she simply isn’t over Taylor Swift’s Reputation era. She could kick your ass, or she’s the kind to get a kick out of reading Fifty Shades of Grey on public transportation. Either way, it’s dope.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 6/10, I like it, but I also have terrible taste.
I hate this with every fiber of my being. The color is fine. Polka dots are endearing, and I will hear no slander about them. But cold shoulders? I knew it was coming, and I’m still disappointed.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 0/10, on principle
As someone who has never been a.) a hot girl b.) a practitioner of musical theater, I’m gonna have to go ahead and say a big “nah” to this one. Feel free to disagree, horse girls of the world.
How fashionable is this fashion?: -1/10
This is the shirt every primary guest wears on Bravo’s Below Deck: Mediterranean, so I must say I appreciate the accidental cross promotion. That’s all I like. These tops... burn them all.
How fashionable is this fashion?: 3/10, in yacht people-terms
It’s kind of weird that they used a model that looks exactly like Stassi, right? Anyway, this is the top she wore at the launch party for the collection (pictured above) and while I do love black satin things, this looks more like a sexy pillow case than something I’d wear to dinner, or the club, or wherever you’re meant to wear this. Anywhere with pinot?
How fashionable is this fashion?: 4/10
In conclusion: all the shoulder-covered items and non-tops are good. Just Fab describes the collection on the whole as “Next Level Basics: Stassi’s signature style of chic and casual staples with that little hint of sass.” Perhaps it’s just too subtle for me to remark on?
DISCUSSION
I’m with you re: the cold shoulder tops. It’s gonna be a big nope for me on those. That black satin off the shoulder top is the worst garment I’ve seen in a while— it just feels like it’s trying way too hard to be “fashion,” and the silhouette/shape of that top in the black looks like a dog’s head when I squint my eyes (If you squint, can you see it, too?)
Any idea if she has had any actual influence on these designs? Asking because fellow BRAVOlebrity Sonja Morgan’s line of clothing was discovered to be merely “curated” by Sonja and her team, consisting of items more that are more cheaply available from Chinese manufacturers.
Sonja’s clothing, for example, supposedly ships with other company’s branded labels. So I guess it all just makes me wonder how much involvement Stassi has really had in this line.
Also, that red snakeskin bag does not look like anything Stassi would own, but that’s just my observation from watching ‘Pump Rules.