Smart Dog Is All 'Fuck a Human's Help; I Got This'

Water, water everyone, and all of it is for this dog's big-ass slobber mouth. I love this water-hogging sob.

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Rebecca "Burt" Rose

This evening, my dog was curled up sleeping, with her head on my lap. This was, mind you, after a long, exhausting day of her sleeping 10 + hours while we were at work all day. So, we're just sitting there, me reading, her sleeping and being snuggle-petted, when all of a sudden, a giant fucking bug lands on my leg and bites me. And of course, I freak a little of the fuck out.

So how does my loving loyal dog handle this? She bolts awake, startled, half asleep, turns to me and proceeds to smack me in the mouth with her paw.

She freaking backhanded me.

Like "GURL. STAHP. THAZ A BUG. IT'S NOT AN ALLIGATOR OR THE GODDAMN TERMINATOR, OK? YOU DON'T NEED TO SCREAM LIKE A SIX YEAR OLD WHO THINKS THEY SAW THE BOOGIE MAN UNDER THE BED. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP, OK?"

Dogs are awesome. For real.