Illustration for article titled Simon Cowells New Face, Explained
Image: Getty

Back in August, boy band Svengali and American Idol bad guy Simon Cowell debuted a new face, one with teeth so big and bright I couldn’t help but compare it to My Neighbor Totoro. Once you see it, you don’t un-see it. A few months prior, in May, Cowell told UK tabloid The Sun that he had a £2,000 “Silhouette Soft Lift” procedure by a doctor nicknamed the “Picasso of dermatology,” Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh. (Sebagh has also worked with famous, attractive people like Kylie Minogue and Cindy Crawford, which leads me to believe the world is five seconds away from everyone in Hollywood having the same face.) Cowell also said he went vegan in April to change his look, but I’m not so sure clean eating results in immobile facial features. “Soft” lift, my tuchis.

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However, in a new interview with HollywoodLife, a board-certified plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills named Dr. Daniel Barrett argues that Cowell has definitely had more procedures done. “He appears to have also undergone eye surgery, potentially an upper eyelid lift. This is the removal of skin above the eyes and can help the eyes appear more open and refreshed,” Barrett explained. “Simon has definitely experienced weight loss which can have an effect on the overall volume and look of the face.”

None of that explains why he looks like a cartoon now? Perhaps some mysterious aren’t meant to be solved. Not completely, anyway.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. It's facetious. This isn't: My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out July 21.

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