Susie Bright, sex-positive feminist and author, was gracious enough to help with your most troubling sex questions. All week, she and her daughter Aretha will be providing us with their sage advice. After the jump!
A lot of Jezzie readers asked yesterday, “Where does Susie Bright get off saying a woman can’t come from intercourse alone?”
I think we have a “word” problem. When I say that penis-vagina intercourse can’t make a woman orgasm, I mean that the sensation of a phallus sliding against vaginal walls is not sufficient. If our vaginal walls were sensitive enough to spark orgasm, we would all suffer horrible deaths during childbirth. It’s our birth canal!
When I insist, “There’s got to be some clitoral stimulation, or there’s no female orgasm,” I’m talking about a very big understanding of the clit. It is a lot bigger than most people think. And you can’t see most of it from the outside! There’s certainly more than one way to make it happy.
Let’s think about men’s anatomy-everyone knows what a man’s cock and balls look like. If you told a man that his “penis” was nothing more than the head of his cock-his “glans”-he would laugh in your face. If he pitied you, he might tell you that there was an important aspect to the penis called the shaft, also the frenulum, and perhaps a foreskin. His scrotum and balls are part of the essential package as well.
Women’s anatomy education, on the other hand, has been a giant exercise in vacancy.
Until recent times, we’ve been schooled that the clitoris-the female analog to the penis-is nothing more than the small glans one can see on the outside of the vulva. Start laughing. Women have a big, big, clitoral body-but it’s nearly all on the inside, instead of the outdoor plumbing that’s viewed so easily on men. The reason you hear so much about the “G-spot,” and controversies over whether women are excited by internal anal or vaginal pressure, is because those areas are all means to massage, and stimulate, the internal clitoral body. The G-spot isn’t some extra accessory; it’s just one of many inches on the clitoral map. Remember: the whole clit, and nothing but.
Of course, the female clitoral glans is the super-sensitive part, just like a man’s. But in the same way that men like to have their entire penises taken into account when they’re aroused, women are favored by attention to their entire clitorises.
When I present this information in public, I am hampered by my lack of rendering skills. Now, finally, I have the genius of Betty “Quick Draw” Dodson to show you what’s it’s all about. The next time someone asks you, “Where’s the clitoris? What does it look like? How do you know where to find it?” you simply come over here, and press play.
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