Scoring the Inaugural Dance-Off: Bidens Almost Hump on the Dance Floor and Obamas are Swingers

Last night the world was treated to a Dancing with the Leaders of the Free World contest, at the Inaugural Ball. These are the results.

Costumes: Both Obama and Biden went with traditional choices. Jill and Michelle both looked beautiful.

Michelle wore a pleated ruby red Jason Wu dress. Jill looked ravishing in a blue satin dress with a Black sash from Vera Wang. Ultimately Jill, who went with a different designer than she did in 2009, made a more adventurous decision than did Michelle who stuck with Wu. Also, in wearing blue, the color of her party, Jill was more politically appropriate than Michelle, who wore the color of the GOP. So, for originality and partisanship, this one goes to the Bidens.

Song: The Obamas danced to Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” while the Bidens danced to Jamie Foxx’s version of the Ray Charles classic “I Can’t Stop Loving You”. Both choices had an “oh, cute” factor, as Obama broke into “Let’s Stay Together” at the Apollo Theater and Foxx played Ray Charles in the film Ray. But Hudson rocked the house with an infinitely more danceable song and Fox sounded a little schmaltzy, with a song that would be better for a first dance at a wedding, than an inaugural ball. So, the Obamas win this round.

Choreography: Both couples kept the footwork simple, and went with “whispering sweet nothings into each others’ ears”-based choreography. This one’s a draw.

Presence: It definitely took the Obamas a while to warm up and they had some cute but awkward moments. But the Bidens got down immediately. Joe, as expected, had a great rapport with the audience (he is such a ham), and was as comfortable interacting with them as he was his wife. So, I have to give this one to the Bidens.

Chemistry: The body language of the Obamas said, “we have fun” and “we really love each other.” But the Bidens exuded sexual tension and their body language screamed, “we have great sex.” Joe kept his face glued to Jill’s ear for much of the dance. I’d love to know what he was telling her, though I’m pretty sure it was all the things he was going to do to her when they got home that night. The Bidens win again.

Kink: The Bidens definitely looked like they were about to hump on the dance floor a few times. I was a little nervous. But the Obamas spiced things up with some couples swinging when Michelle started dancing with Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt. Timothy Easterling and Obama took a spin with Air Force Staff Sgt Bria Nelson. So, the Obama’s win this round.

Final Score: It’s a squeaker. Out of a total possible score of six, the Obamas earn a three and the Bidens score four. Congratulations, Joe and Jill! You now go on to compete against North Korea’s Kim Jong-un and his wife, Ri Sol-ju in the next round of Dancing with World Leaders.