It’s been a week, y’all. But let this goose and this dog embracing before scampering off to embark on what we can only assume will be whimsy-packed adventures provide a moment of pure, unashamed tweeness. We’ve earned it.
My best friend died yesterday. After watching her continued deterioration from MS for the past 13 years, and after contracting pneumonia 2 weeks ago, last weekend she decided she wanted to be taken off antibiotics and IV fluids. She was able to move from her nursing home and stay with her brother and sister-in-law, who is a hospice nurse, for the past week. My boss let me work from home all week, which allowed me to go visit her every day since her brother’s house is only 10 minutes from where I live. At first she seemed to be getting better, but I think that might be because they were giving her more morphine and it had been a really long time since I’d seen her not in pain. But every day she got worse. She couldn’t remember things, she was less aware of what was going on. Thursday afternoon her husband texted me that the nurse said she had a day or two left. Thursday night it really seemed like she was going to go. I stayed for a couple hours then just had to leave. I fully expected to wake to a message that she died. I got done with work at 3 and was just getting ready to go when her daughter called... somehow I didn’t hear the phone ring and saw the message a few minutes later... she had died. I headed over, and... This is not the first person in my life to die, but my dad and brother both lived out of state and were cremated, so I didn’t see them after they died. I got to her brother’s house and... there she was. Knowing for over a week that this was coming really wasn’t that helpful. Seeing her... so pale... I stayed and talked to her daughter, her aunt, her mom, her husband, her brother and sister-in-law... They’ve adopted me into their family and I was so thankful they allowed me to be present for her last days, letting me come over to see her whenever I wanted. I stayed until the morticians came and took her. I tried to go see a movie this morning and I couldn’t make it through the previews. I didn’t have it in me to sit still... I know it will get better. I lost my dad and brother, both of whom I loved so much. But it doesn’t really prepare you for another loss. They aren’t having a funeral, but they’re planning to have a gathering soon, after she’s cremated. They told me I’m welcome to be present for the cremation if I want to be, which... I didn’t know that was a thing? I don’t know if I want to be there for that, but I’ll be there when they have their gathering. She would have turned 46 on the 29th. And I don’t know what life will be like without her anymore. I guess I’m going to find out.