Paula White
Paula White
Image: Getty

The last time we checked in on Paula White, the spiritual advisor to Donald Trump, she was pulling out of a speaking engagement at a conference that was promising supernatural protection from the coronavirus. Before that, she was praying that God would terminate all satanic pregnancies, and making a call against both the animal and marine kingdoms. I’ve still yet to learn what either kingdom did to her, but I assume that unless it’s the kingdom of God, Paula is probably going to make a stink about it. I expect she’ll be coming out against Genovia any day now.

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Her war with land and sea aside, Paula is now taking on an even greater force, God himself, and commanding the Lord to stop all this coronavirus nonsense once and for all! “So I declare to you right now, to be Lord over this nation,” she said at the White House on National Day of Prayer earlier this week, “Over the United States of America, and we receive your blessing over any plague, over any economic distress, you will stay the hand of the enemy, according to second Samual chapter twenty-one verse sixteen,” she said before continuing on to basically tell God enough is enough already.

While I am totally down with the sentiment, and I too would very much like God to get rid of covid-19, I am confused as to why she felt the need to clarify for God just exactly what nation she was talking about. Does she think that God isn’t aware of where she was when she was talking to him? Also, I know I may be a bit rusty when it comes to my understanding of religion, but Paula spends most of her speech (prayer?) reminding God about stuff that was written in the bible and about all the times that he helped people out who were in distress before. I think he knows, Paula! Didn’t he like, write the book? Isn’t that the whole thing? Written by man, inspired by God, or something like that. My guess is, if he’s out there, at this point he’s just not listening, and to be honest I don’t think you’re helping!

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What do you think? Is God listening to Paula White?

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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