An immense shadow has come to loom over our planet: the passive-aggressive shade thrown by Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, who have taken to outlets including but not limited to: Rolling Stone and Twitter.com in order to accuse one another of being mean. Why us, the world wonders in silent fear. What have we done to deserve this ignominious battle of subtweets waged on our very own Internet?
The answer is: we permitted poncho-clad nightmare human John Mayer to become a celebrity. We have brought this upon ourselves.
According to Page Six, the Swift/Perry bloodfeud — which is now about business and the stealing of backup dancers — has its cursèd roots in both stars' relationships with Mayer. As we all shudderingly recall, Taylor Swift and John Mayer had "a love affair" in 2010 that yielded a song entitled "Dear John" (sample lyrics: "Don't you think 19's too young to be played by/Your dark twisted games?").
In 2012, Mayer and Katy Perry had a relationship of their own; apparently, he was humiliated by Taylor Swift's song, and his angry words on the subject hardened Katy Perry's heart against her. "Perry started making digs at Taylor from then on," says a source.
From whence, apparently, we get the bloodfeud. Pray for us all. [Page Six]
While performing with his band, ombre-haired Oscar winner Jared Leto grabbed onto his genitals. It was very rock and roll, I guess. I don't know. There are thousands of screenshots of it now, so that's something. [ONTD]
Here is a video of Justin Bieber stripping on stage at Fashion Rocks. (The person filming it keeps clucking and muttering lustily so please enjoy at maximum volume.) Apparently he decided to disrobe to placate the masses after being booed; I guess it worked? All I know is I feel very unsafe and confused watching this. [ONTD, E!]
- Most ambitious guy in your sophomore lit class James Franco directed a film version of The Sound and the Fury in which he plays Benji. [ONTD]
- Here are some celebrities reacting to the iPhone 6, the web content you have been waiting your whole life for. [Billboard]
- This article promises to tell you what gifts Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds shared for their second anniversary but contains NO ACTUAL INFORMATION. I am assuming he got her a block of reclaimed wood shaped like a memory and she got him a $45 spoon. [E!]
- Ed Sheeran basically confirmed that Ellie Goulding cheated on him with Niall from One Direction, only I really don't think they were dating at the time and Ed Sheeran is being butthurt. That is just one blogger's take. Thank you for reading. [E!]
- Ashley Tisdale got married and Vanessa Hudgens was a bridesmaid. [Gossip Cop]
- Keanu Reeves is producing a series about virtual reality. Will it just be a slideshow of those conspiratorial Keanu Reeves memes set to music from The Matrix? Maybe! [EW]
- Rihanna wore seven outfits in two days/looked glorious in all of 'em. [People]
- Connie Britton had a sex scene with Adam Driver, but it was cut from This Is Where I Leave You. How do we feel about this? Disappointed? Tbh it's hard for me to imagine an Adam Driver sex scene that doesn't look like a psychosexual nightmare (via Girls). [HuffPo]