Katy Perry and Taylor Swift Will Shade Each Other to the Death

It is said that when the full harvest moon rises and the Pumpkin Spice Latte debuts too early, two young pop stars shall enter a blood feud that neither shall exit ’til one is either dead or forbidden from donning a bejeweled onesie until her 100th name day.

The curséd two: Katy Perry and Taylor Swift — one of hair of ebony, the other, hair of flax — locked in a battle of passive aggressive insults for, as the story goes, no word shall be spoken to each other’s faces.

The inevitable fight went public yesterday with the release of Swift’s latest Rolling Stone interview, in which she reveals that her new song “Bad Blood” is about a fellow female entertainer with whom she has, yes, the baddest of blood:

“For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not,” she says. “She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?'” Then last year, the other star crossed a line. “She did something so horrible,” Swift says. “I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

Who this fellow pop artist was, Swift declined to say and the internet was left to grind its gears and investigate without her assistance. Before long, the story was traced back to Katy Perry who, last year, hired three dancers away from Swift.