Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara Should Get Married

Sofia Vergara is a Colombian-American actress who stars in the obnoxiously popular Emmy-winning sitcom Modern Family and frequently gets stereotyped as a “spicy Latina.” Reese Witherspoon is an American actress with such notable roles as Legally Blonde, Walk the Line and Sweet Home Alabama. Vergara and Witherspoon are both starring in the buddy film Hot Pursuit together. Their film promo makes it seem like they are in love. Suggestion: Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon should get married.

Witherspoon has dropped less-than-casual hints that Vergara has become her new closest confidante, and also her “wrestling” partner. She told reporters at a recent pre-Oscars luncheon in Beverly Hills: “…I just left New Orleans where I was shooting [Hot Pursuit] with Sofia, so I have literally like rug burn on my knees. I have bruises up and down my legs from fighting with Sofia in this fight sequence, so that’s basically how I prepared. Wrestling with Sofia Vergara.” (Witherspoon held a smile as the phrase lingered in her head: Wrestling with Sofia Vergara… Wrestling with Sofia Vergara… Wrestling with Sofia Vergara…)

The actress also told People she’s “totally fallen under Sofia’s spell,” noting Vergara’s supernatural qualities. “Literally every person stares at her. Men fall on the floor. Women drop their purses,” said Witherspoon, sweating and gushing. “It’s like a commercial. Her hair is in slow motion.” Witherspoon also called Vergara “a modern-day Lucille Ball… You can’t not watch her,” while you’re camping outside under the stars, she said. Reese Witherspoon also admitted to stealing Sofia Vergara’s jewelry when Vergara surprised her on the SAG Awards red carpet. It was there that Witherspoon grabbed Vergara’s ass on the red carpet. She’s officially dubbed Vergara her work wife.

Witherspoon (who previously wed Ryan Phillipe) is currently married to Jim Toth. Sofia Vergara is hopelessly in love with and engaged to Joe Manganiello. Doesn’t matter. Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon should get married. I know what you’re thinking: Two women can’t just be friends who praise each other’s beauty and talent without being judged as gross BFFs or potential lovers? Stop it. That’s impossible. Don’t be dumb. Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon are perfect for each other. Like Nancy Grace and 2 Chainz, Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon should get married.