Puke: Your iPhone Is Dirtier Than a Toilet Seat

Make sure to disinfect your hands by removing the first three layers of epidermis and then soaking them in bleach for ten minutes after you send your next text. Because, seriously, your hands are fucking disgusting and your precious iPhone is a germ magnet.

Then again, isn’t this how we build a stronger immune system? Please excuse me while I go eat my second dinner out of a public urinal.