Please Leave DJ Tanner Alone!

Illustration for article titled Please Leave DJ Tanner Alone!
Image: Matt Winkelmayer (Getty Images)

I didn’t think that I’d be spending any nibble of 2021 defending Candace Cameron Bure as vehemently as I did in 2020, but it seems like people can’t leave her ass alone. This time, everyone’s all floppy because the holiday photos she posted looks Photoshopped, and honestly, I say this from the bottom of my heart, WHO CARES?!

Here’s the photo in question, which, yes, looks like a catalog shoot, but is fine? Like, this time, her husband isn’t grabbing a titty, which is what everyone else was mad about the last time, and so those who follow Candace Cameron Bure should just look at the photo, like it or not, and then move on. It is unnecessary to reiterate that that is not what happened, but I am doing so just the same.

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According to Page Six, some rando on Instagram said her daughter looks like an evil Disney villain, and another said that one of her sons looks stoned. Listen, I know there’s a lot going on in the world right now and it is easier to pick at famous people instead of picking at yourself or your family because there are no repercussions with the former and it scratches the same itch, but for fuck’s sake, can we all just find a modicum of chill? Bure agrees with me, even though we have not spoken at length about this matter, per her Facebook statement issued Saturday.

“I wished blessings upon everyone as I shared it in the spirit of a happy new year, yet so many of you came back with jokes about our appearance and criticism of what you thought would have been a better photo. Shame on you. It doesn’t matter if you’re 10 or 90 years old, rude is rude. Be better than that. I’m praying for humanity. Manners and respect. If you don’t like something, just move on. There are people and real feelings behind every screen.

P.S. Please don’t tell me to ignore the “haters.” There were plenty of well meaning people who thought it would be funny to point out things and share their commentary, “with love.” Umm... that’s not love. That’s rude. Try kind. It looks good on everyone.”

Rude is rude, that’s absolutely right! Other famous people don’t respond like Bure does, so I’m wondering if part of this is a ploy to keep herself in the news. Even if it is, I respect it! WHO CARES THIS MUCH ABOUT ANYTHING? [Page Six]


A delicious piece of celebrity gossip I heard from a little bird yesterday was that Zoe Kravitz and Channing Tatum were dating amid Zoe’s very fresh divorce. I love this beautiful fantasy, where two people, one very beautiful, and the other, thick of neck, hold hands and tongue kiss away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. Unfortunately, I now believe this rumor to be false?

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A source tells People, “They’re working together on an upcoming project and it’s not true that they’re dating.” Hm! Hmmm. Hmph. I would like it if they were only because they’re attractive and it’s nice to have something to think about other than the goings on of my own household. However, this is FINE that they’re not. Or maybe they are? Ah! We’ll never know... [People]


  • Emma Stone is having a baby with her normie husband! [People]
  • Larry King, that old bat, is doing much better, though he is still hospitalized with covid. [Page Six]
  • Here’s some grainy photos of Brad Pitt’s back tattoos. [Hollywood Life]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

If DJ Tanner wants to join Mike Seaver in his mask-less caroling madness, we can rightly scorn and scoff. But that pic is pretty small potatoes, even in the scheme of celebrity gossip. Also, Disney villain is totally a compliment.