DJ Tanner's Husband Can Grapple Her Titty All He Wants!

Illustration for article titled DJ Tanners Husband Can Grapple Her Titty All He Wants!
Image: Tommaso Boddi (Getty Images)

The current state of the world is a difficult climate for l’amour, as anecdotal evidence has proven to me that not a single person currently in a relationship or otherwise is fucking all that much. But I’m happy to report that Candace Cameron Bure and her husband, Val, appear to be doing juuuuuust fine!

Advertisement

Bure posted a photo of herself and her husband, Val, standing on an idyllic bridge somewhere much more peaceful than my home and maybe yours. Val’s hand is on Cameron’s boob—not quite a squeeze, but a little more forceful than just gently resting the hand atop. A caress. A grab. A playful handful. Whatever it is, both parties seem into it—but Bure’s multitudinous Instagram followers were quite upset.

Here’s the photo in question, ganked from her Instagram story:

Illustration for article titled DJ Tanners Husband Can Grapple Her Titty All He Wants!
Screenshot: Candace Cameron Bure
Advertisement

According to Page Six, it seems that this consensual expression of love and continued sexual attraction after 24 years of marriage has angered some of her followers. Bure was forced to defend herself against the faceless army of pearl-clutchers thusly, in a series of videos on her Instagram story that have since expired:

“For all of the Christians that are questioning my post with my husband’s hand on my boob — my husband of 24 years — thinking it was inappropriate, it makes me laugh because it’s my husband. We have so much fun together...

“He can touch me any time he wants, and I hope he does,” she continued. “This is what a healthy, good marriage and relationship is all about...I’m sorry if it offended you — I’m actually not sorry,” she said with a laugh. “I’m glad we have fun together after so many years. He can touch me all day long.”

It’s pointless to say that policing the Bure’s interactions are an exercise in futility and that people will find a reason to nitpick everything under the sun, because everyone is bored and we’ve reached the stage of the pandemic where the novelty has worn off, we are tired, and winter is coming. However, I see no issue here! Isn’t it nice to know that someone, somewhere out there, is getting laid, even if it doesn’t happen to be you? [Page Six]


Much of California is currently on fire thanks in part to a gender-reveal party gone horrifically wrong. This is making life extremely taxing for everyone who lives there, including the ghoulish Jeffree Star, who has hopped his ass on a private jet and lit out for Wyoming, per this deleted tweet.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled DJ Tanners Husband Can Grapple Her Titty All He Wants!
Screenshot: @JeffreeStar/Twitter

Though I have stumbled upon this after its deletion, my suspicion is that he was dragged by the roots of his platinum hair by legions of faceless individuals. Star is a messy bitch who loves drama while disavowing drama in the same breath, but maybe SOMEONE on his TEAM who has a NIBBLE OF COMMON SENSE grabbed this man by the collar of his tracksuit and hissed, “Babe, you should delete that, there are people dying...” and he listened!!!!

Advertisement

  • No, Jennifer Garner is not pregnant. [E! News]
  • Yes, Carole Baskin is practicing hula for Dancing With the Stars. [TMZ]
  • Maybe this time Tiffany Pollard will be lucky, maybe this time I Love New York second-runner up Kamal “Chance” Givens will staaaaaayyyyyyyy. [TMZ]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

modusoperandi0
Modusoperandi

Danny’s act is filthy, Aunt Becky’s a convict, DJ’s boob is getting touched...the world doesn’t make sense anymore!