Philadelphia Is Just Trying to Cope With the Loss of Bendall
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A confession: A very long time ago, I went on Fox News.
It was December 2007. I was a Philadelphia blogger. There was massive local news anchor drama. One anchor actually illegally accessed his co-anchor’s email. That co-anchor was later arrested for allegedly assaulting a New York City police officer (charges were dropped). I was blogging for a Philadelphia alt-weekly. Fox News wanted me on for a segment about it. I don’t remember why I said yes. I usually say no!
During the phone interview, I made a joke I’ve repeated many times since then: “Here in Philadelphia we don’t have, like, real celebrities. So our TV news anchors are sort of our biggest stars.” It aired on TV.
A Fox News anchor challenged my assertion. “There are celebrities in Philly. You’ve got the Eagles. You’ve got the Philly baseball team.” First off, saying there are celebrities in Philly and not being able to name any is not helping your case. Second off, what the hell does the Philadelphia baseball team have to be called for you to remember it? It’s literally Phillies.
I think it’s safe to say my joke was also the truth. Philadelphia is the best goddamn city on the planet. But we don’t really have any celebrities. You might run into Charles Barkley at the City Ave. Target. Sometimes I see David Morse in Center City. Is that it? The best known person from our city is a fictional character, Rocky Balboa. The Pro-Choice Ice Guy—sorry, Rita’s, this is canon now—is like the 10th most famous resident of Philadelphia.
For the last few months, though, the city had a legitimate celebrity couple. Sixers guard Ben Simmons had been dating Kendall Jenner. I say had because, as teased in my last update, Simmons and Jenner have broken up.
As Maria Sherman wrote here last week, People first reported the news with a source from someone in Kendall’s camp. “They’re on a break,” the source told the magazine. “The relationship ran its course. She’s spending time with her friends and back to being in fun mode.”
Going to a Robert Morris-Drexel basketball game and vacuum cleaner shopping in Cherry Hill wasn’t “fun mode” enough for Kendall? Geez. I’m glad my relationship was able to survive the Monmouth-Penn game my fiancée and I attended last year.
The Sixers season is over, on an absurd buzzer-beater, and now Bendall is over too. This is a drag. When the Sixers advance deep into the playoffs, the city goes wild over them. And when there’s a celebrity in town, the city goes wild too.