R.I.P. Bendall. Love is dead.
Supermodel Kendall Jenner and Philadelphia 76ers basketball player Ben Simmons have broken up. According to Yahoo!, the pair called it quits after they began dating last summer and brought us such hits as “If Kendall Jenner Is Going To Drexel Basketball Games With Ben Simmons, It Really Is True Love” and “Kendall Jenner and Ben Simmons Had Dinner at a New Jersey Mall.”
Residents of Philadelphia are going to have to settle on maybe running into Jason Segel to fulfill their celebrity sitting desires. That, or the pro-choice water ice guy.
“They’re on a break. The relationship ran its course. She’s spending time with her friends and back to being in fun mode.”
Rumors about their split cropped up earlier this month and guess what? They were true.
I am not an Arrested Development fan. I am a fan of memes, and the line where Jessica Walter’s character Lucille Bluth says, “I mean, its one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?” has been meme’d to death. This headline, however, is funnier than that, because it is real, and not tethered to a bad show. Rich people are wild.
Retired basketball player Dwyane Wade apparently thinks milk costs $20, because that’s what his wife Gabrielle Union said on the Late Late Show Wednesday night. She joked that life-after-career has been a process for Wade, who is just now apparently navigating adulthood:
“He has no idea what’s happening. When he got into the NBA, he didn’t have any money… and then he’s retired now, he does OK for himself. But he’s like, ‘What is this place? There’s all kind of like khaki shorts and cargo shorts and there’s all different colors.’ I’m like, ‘That’s Old Navy.’”
“He’s never been to a car wash and he’s like, ‘I love it there!’”
And most damning of all:
“He has no idea how much milk costs. He’s like, ‘What is that, $20?’ and I’m like, ‘What kind of goat’s blood milk [are you drinking]?’”
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- The Real’s Jeanne Mai was sexually assaulted by a family member, which caused her not to talk to her mother—who didn’t believe her—for eight years. [E!]
- A Philadelphia DA thinks Meek Mill should be given a new trial, with a new judge. Obviously! [Page Six]
- Give me Cher’s genderless perfume. [Us Weekly]
- Demi Lovato thinks The Bachelorette’s Hannah Brown is “soooo cute!!” but warns her about Luke P.: “Hannah, honey, do not trust him!!!!!!!” [People]
- Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli’s other daughter, Bella Giannulli—who was also allegedly admitted to USC under bribes—has broken up with her boyfriend Nick Penske. Operation Varsity Blues is tearing us apart! [Us Weekly]
- Ariana Grande has paid tribute to the victims of the Manchester bombing, and their families, two years later. [Just Jared]