Parents' Group: Planned Parenthood Will Turn Our Kids Into Sex Fiends

Parents in a California school district are freaking the fuck out because their kids are learning about sex from Planned Parenthood.

The Acalanes Union High School District in Contra Costa County (which includes Acalanes, Las Lomas, Miramonte and Campolindo High Schools) has had a partnership with Planned Parenthood for the last ten years. According to school officials, it’s common practice to contract sexual education curriculum out to the organization because their representatives are more comfortable discussing the material with students and they have the most up-to-date information about the issues at hand. Sounds like a completely reasonable and downright healthy attitude for a school to take about such a serious topic, especially considering a lot of the other backwards ass bullshit schools try to pull these days.

On Oct. 6, freshmen at Acalanes Union High School participated in a sex education course taught by an educator from Planned Parenthood. This prompted some parents (probably ones who are new to the district and this practice) to absolutely lose their shit. Taking a page from the Duggars’ “Keep Your Boners Away From Our Vaginas Before Marriage” book, some parents are furious about this arrangement, according to KPIX San Francisco. They’re outraged, I tell you! Outraged!

“I feel outraged. I feel sad, and I’m worried for the future of these kids,” parent Camille Giglio told KPIX 5. Giglio, parent of an Acalanes Union High School District student, is a spokeswoman for the newly-formed NOISE (No to Irresponsible Sex Education) Coalition.

NOISE? Their group is actually named NOISE? That sounds like the name of a fake concerned parents group in a John Waters movie.

“Planned Parenthood is a business. It’s a business that sells sex. It’s a way to get clientele and to sexualize young people and turn them into lifelong clients,” Giglio told KPIX.

No, it’s not. The Bunny Ranch is a business that sells sex. Planned Parenthood is a organization that provides safe and affordable reproductive health care services for women. But Giglio seems to be hung up on the idea that Planned Parenthood is some kind of sexual Amway operation, according to the Contra Costa Times:

“This is nothing but a sales meeting,” said [Giglio], a Walnut Creek resident and ardent opponent of Planned Parenthood. “They’re accessing students to find present and future clients without parents understanding what is going on in the classroom.”

“I never felt Planned Parenthood was promoting their own services or encouraging us to have sex,” said Megan Yee, who is sadly probably now addicted for life to free pamphlets from Planned Parenthood.

Good lord this is all a bunch of bullshit, said school administrators in slightly less colorful language. “Our board has long supported comprehensive sexual health and HIV/AIDS prevention,” district superintendent John Nickerson told the Contra Costa Times. He said abstinence was also emphasized during the program.

NOISE wants to see another group take over the presentation. I’m pretty sure this is their top choice for a presenter.