Research, articles, ubiquitous workshops on the female orgasm all speak to the “orgasm gap,” the relative difficulty among women, compared to men, in achieving climax. And research, and articles and let’s be honest, personal experience all speak to the prevalence of casual sex. But what does casual sex mean, given this orgasmically bleak landscape. In other words, what’s the point of having a purely physical sexual encounter, if you don’t have an orgasm? Is it worth it to “jump on it” if you’re not going to get off from it? Did I just start writing like Carrie Bradshaw? Is that really relevant?
I started reflecting on orgasm-free casual sex at a workshop I recently went to with a few friends a called Grow Your Orgasm, Grow Your Power, run by Shiuan Butler. I meditated further on the subject after engaging in a study called Post-Workshop Discussion over Dinner and Drinks with Three of my Friends Who Had Attended the Workshop, (Katie Halper et al 2013). We talked about how much easier it is to orgasm with partners we know, and how much harder it was to be fulfilled by partners we don’t know. The reasons for these are both mechanical and psychological:
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