Oprah's Dog Sadie Has Replaced Stedman in the Quarantine Kennel

Just over a month after the world celebrated Stedman Graham’s release from the quarantine pokey housed on Oprah’s Santa Barbara estate, an eye-infection and subsequent trip to the veterinarian have earned Sophie the spaniel a two-week trip to solitary.

Speaking with Gayle King on Instagram Live from her “prayer chair,” Oprah explained that she was taking no chances on catching covid-19, be it from plausible human sources, like her longtime partner Stedman, or less intimate sources, such as asymptomatic canines with bad eyes.

“I heard about a pug in New York,” Oprah insisted when questioned about the overzealousness of quarantining a dog. And perhaps Oprah knows something we do not: She revealed during the interview that she has private access to Bradley Cooper at all hours of the day via text message, so who knows what other channels of information are open to Oprah.

But the main thing for the spaniels and humans of the world to remember is our main priority is collectively shielding Oprah from disease, no matter how many of us have to lock ourselves in that guesthouse for whatever amount of time Oprah deems safe. It seems odd that Oprah, despite having 2.6 billion dollars, cannot seem to acquire human or animal covid-19 testing with the same ease that she might arrange a virtual board game night with Bradley Cooper, but times are tough and all of our burdens, including those of Oprah, Steadman, and Sadie, are staggering.