And now, a pleasant story for miserable times: Oprah has granted Stedman permission to come home after keeping him in the guest house for two weeks to self-quarantine.
Oprah put Stedman in the guest house because he was “one of those” who wasn’t quite ready to adhere to social distancing when his liege was. As Oprah tells it, he had just gotten off an airplane, and was all ready to lay in bed next to his beloved, pawing at her wrist for attention as she scrolled through her Finsta or whatever, but Ms. Winfrey put the kibosh on that real quick. He retired to the guest house, received his meals from Oprah through a window (?), and also engaged in “love chats,” the details of which we have been spared, but please, use your imagination.
Now, though, the 14 days are over, and Oprah and her mans had a lovely reunion, which was soundtracked by the dulcet tones of two of Oprah’s former students (???) from the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls singing a song about “freedom.” I do love this touching reunion, but I am wondering why those girls are on Oprah’s compound singing a song to Stedman and not social distancing? No matter, as I am not the social distancing police, but that’s just some food for thought. Another snack for thought: Stedman’s self-imposed prison seems like it was very nice, and I’m pretty sure Oprah really enjoyed herself in his absence, but something about their reunion has touched my heart. I hope they enjoy riding this shit out together whilst rattling around that gigantic mansion. [People]
My favorite sad papa is no longer sad, because his relationship with a fresh and bright brunette is THRIVING in QUARANTINE, MA’AM!!
Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas are doing just fine! They’re walking their dog! They’re smiling and holding hands! They are learning to love in close-ish quarters! Her friends love him and think he is “charming, cool and fun.” Those adjectives aren’t quite the adjectives I’d use to describe Ben Affleck, but I only know about his back tattoo and his infinite sadness, the latter of which seems to be disappearing thanks to his new quara-love. Ben’s Boston dirtbag thing appeals to me, and you know what, if this works for the next six months, then great, because after it’s over, I will move to Los Angeles, invest in subtle fillers, and shoot my shot. Just kidding! Or am I?
There’s actually no real news in their relationship, other than the fact that de Armas is wearing a nice pair of boots in the accompanying paparazzi photo, but I’m just glad that someone is having a nice time. [Us Weekly]
- Taylor Swift sent $3,000 to a fan. [Page Six]
- TMZ exalts in the presence of activity on Richard Simmons’s YouTube channel and you know what, so do I! [TMZ]
- Nice news: Sara Bareilles has recovered from covid-19. [E! News]
- The other brunette whose popularity peaked during the mid-2000s that isn’t Rachel Bilson took a walk. [E! News]