No, Duh: Women Have a Hard Time Orgasming During Random Hookups

Illustration for article titled No, Duh: Women Have a Hard Time Orgasming During Random Hookups

Yes, it's harder for women to have an orgasm with a partner they don't know well, if at all, according to ample evidence provided by the New York Times' Natalie Kitroeff. Color me shocked, perhaps with some Nars Orgasm and/or G-Spot blush.

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For her piece, Kitroeff interviewed several young people, and also explored recently published studies from the Kinsey Institute and NYU that came to roughly the same conclusions: 1. That women are two times as likely to have an orgasm when they're in a relationship as when they're not and 2. That when thousands of college students were interviewed about the last hookup they'd had, 42 percent of women had had an orgasm versus the 80 percent of men who had.

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Bonus fact: 74 percent of women had had an orgasm the last time they'd has sex while in a relationship. "We attribute that to practice with a partner, which yields better success at orgasm, and we also think the guys care more in a relationship," said one researcher.

Another said, "We've been sold this bill of goods that we're in an era where people can be sexually free and participate equally in the hookup culture. The fact is that not everyone's having a good time."

But as very cool sex researcher and writer Dr. Debby Herbenick explained, "Something we don't talk about is why having an orgasm is the main goal or the only goal. Who are we to say women should be having orgasms?" (Debby: Y U So Wise?) A few of the women interviewed agreed, explaining that for them, an entire sexual experience can be much more than how easy it is for them to get off. "To sort of know yourself to be sort of skilled in a way or to be able to see someone else's pleasure that was your own doing," one explained, "I think there's definitely something very empowering about that."

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Women Find Orgasm Elusive in Hookups [NYT]

Image via Yurly Rudyy/Shutterstock

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DISCUSSION

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Seize: it's about ethics in gossip journalism

Orgasming during random hookups is basically an Easter egg. I'm no longer in the business of random hookups: for good reason. I've found that sexually investing in one or a few people who you teach about your specific needs is far more pleasurable.

No matter what, you have to be specific, ask for what you want, and hold back when you don't get what you want. It's not impossible to orgasm every time you hook up with a random — but you have to have very specific instructions and no problem sharing them.