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Meghan Markle, star of Suits and the apple of Prince Harry’s eye, may soon deal with an unflattering portrait of herself in a forthcoming memoir called The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister, written by her half-sister, Samantha Markle Grant. Yikes!

News of the memoir was first reported by The Daily Star in April. “My book deals with my bi-racial family in a candid, warm, personal and socially important way,” Samantha told the Star—an incredible assertion for a book that refers to her sister as Princess Pushy. She continued, “Maybe when Meghan is more mature and reads the book she’ll understand. Some of it she won’t like, some of it she might.”

Samantha, who is Markle’s half-sister from their father’s first marriage, is considerably older than Meghan, and has claimed that she “helped raise” her half-sister during her childhood. According to People’s source, Meghan has had no contact with her half-siblings for over a decade. These two facts together clearly make Samantha the most qualified person to write a non-biased and accurate memoir that features Meghan Markle, Princess Pushy.

In an interview with Good Morning Britain on Monday, Markle Grant told the hosts “I think the British people and the world will be surprised. There’s so much the public doesn’t know,” while also saying what a good person she is—again, a very confusing assertion from someone who is writing a book that will likely be about her half-sister, whom—as we’ve already pointed out—she has publicly nicknamed Princess Pushy.

By Samantha’s own telling, The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister won’t be a tell-all meant to scandalize Markle before she possibly becomes engaged to Prince Harry and transcends Suits to become an actual princess. Rather, it’s a tell-all about race and feelings (about her half sister):

“First of all, it’s only a tell-all in that I go through and recant some of the beautiful nuances of our lives, our family home. But more importantly it has to do with the inter-racial evolution of this country through the lens of my life and my family since the Civil Rights Act until present, and how that intersects with this recent event with my sister, you know, my feelings about it, my family’s feelings about it and how sad it was going through it all. But it’s more of a beautiful, warm, witty story of our lives and my life.”

If that wasn’t clear, maybe what Samantha has to say about Meghan’s character is:

“She’s lovely. She’s very animated, very charming, very lively and no matter what I don’t believe that you can be a half-sister. Either you’re sisters or you’re not. In my heart and in reality she’s my sister and she’s absolutely lovely. So let me get rid of any misperception about that whatsoever.”

I do agree that a half-sister really is just a sister, but if any one of my half-sisters wrote a memoir called The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister, I would absolutely murder them. Samantha—best of luck.