There's nothing better after a long day of blogging (or whatever you do for a living) than a nice jaunt off to r/adviceanimals or a quick spin around the most viral photos on imgur for some of the best memes around*, but imagine if your partner wouldn't stop speaking like doge. Ever. Here's one man's nightmare.
Reddit user needtovent446 (probably a throwaway but how amazing is it that 1-445 were also probably taken?) took to Reddit's relationship page to discuss his strange problem: A girlfriend who speaks in memes even during coitus. Can you imagine? Personally, I can (because I once got nervous during sex and took on a very strange accent but also it was my first time, so...) but it's not a great image. Nor is the fact that there is a person out there that loves memes so much that she decorates their walls with them. There's probably nothing wrong with that, though; just like there was nothing wrong with th efact that I once decorated my walls with Hanson posters (Isaac4Lyfe).
Here's what's going on with needstovent, who met a real chill girl who was into reddit and 4chan and is now some kind of internet monster:
Chris has an obsession with memes. She has memes posted all over her wall and is very active on meme based forums. I understand they make her laugh and that it's not too concerning, but she brings up memes ALL the time. And I mean all the time. Even when we first started talking and flirting she'd bring up socially awkward penguin. At first it was cute, but then it got annoying fast when I realized she did this constantly.
My girlfriend doesn't abstain from meme usage, even when we're having sex. Whenever we spend this time together, she starts moaning doge memes like "such sex, wow" and it really kills the moment for me. Like really? Is that even close to appropriate? Maybe she wants to relieve the tension, but does she know when to draw the line? Even reading that over made me sick knowing that Chris is usually 100% serious about those things.
I tried bringing up her inappropriate usage of memes after my father died and she literally sends me advice animal memes that say 'don't be sad' but my dad just fucking died could you be more sensitive and not send me memes? I said that straight to her face yesterday and she started crying, and I feel awful but it was just really irritating for me.
As with all Reddit stories, I have a hard time believing this is true, but I also know there are people out there who would do this. My own father, who loves speaking in movie tag lines, once told my aunt who had just finished chemo to "die another day" as he was pulling out of her driveway and spent the majority of my grandfather's funeral giggling and making jokes. And just like my dad, needtovent's girlfriend is also unstoppable:
Basically, every time I bring up her habit, guess what- she just brings up memes! It's impossible to fight with her reasonably and I'd hate to end our year long relationship over something so trivial like this and I need advice. Do I stick with her or not? The reaction to my dad's death was the final straw for me and I've been ignoring her messages, texts, which yes, do contain memes.
I am not an advice columnist so maybe we should get Amy Dickinson in here for a second opinion, but it sounds like this relationship is kind of doomed for several reasons. One, needstovent is not getting the respect/reasonable accommodation he is asking for. Two, he is asking the internet if he should break up with "Chris" and suggesting that he might show her the page if he gets a lot of comments which, let's be honest, will end that relationship quicker than dogecoins became worthless. Three, they're 23 and 21. Settling for a partner who's not amenable to compromise and mediocre meme sex is something you do after you've been in a relationship for at least five years and don't care about your partner seeing you wipe. It's not something you try to "save" when you're both basically new to relationships and still trying to figure things out. Here's my advice for you needstovent446:
*I hate myself so much right now.
Images via Memegenerator