Loyal Man Shoots Everyone Who Wouldn't Sing 'Happy Birthday' to His Boo
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Delonte Thomas’ first mistake in trying to be the best boyfriend he could be was to hijack the birthday party of a friend and demand that his own girlfriend be serenaded with “Happy Birthday.” His second mistake was trying to kill everyone who didn’t comply.
Bro Bible notes that Thomas, who apparently has no idea that the “Happy Birthday” song is worse than most other songs on earth with the possible exception of “This Is the Song That Never Ends,” has been sentenced to 333 months in prison after he shot three people more than 25 times for not keeping the mood festive. One woman, who was shot nine times, miraculously survived. The other victims also recovered after surgery. Thomas claims he has no memory of the incident and deserves a second chance.